Dave99

dave99


— Dave99 Report User
The USPS is easily confused! 1 comments
dave99 · 1 day ago
If she had actually sent it, it'd be postmarked lol.
Absolutely wonderful 4 comments
dave99 · 5 weeks ago
I have literally no idea who or what these people are, are they convicts?
Ever relevant 2 comments
dave99 · 7 weeks ago
After Michael Brown was killed by a cop acting in self defense*
1
My husband entered his first art competition and won second place in people's choice, I'm 3 comments
dave99 · 7 weeks ago
Self portrait?
(No I'm kidding please don't murder me)
This is half correct brehs 10 comments
dave99 · 7 weeks ago
Mmm just gotta pull that trigger and hold it for her to have a "good time" ;)
I'll just leave this here 7 comments
dave99 · 9 weeks ago
Low frictose porn syrup*
Scorching 24 comments
dave99 · 14 weeks ago
I go jogging at 4 AM in Alabama. Temperature? 70-75 degrees Fahrenheit, 92-94% humidity. It's dark out the whole time and STILL about that hot.
1
Sony computers in 2020 7 comments
dave99 · 16 weeks ago
Can confirm this is not the case
Pop art of the top part of a pop tart 6 comments
dave99 · 20 weeks ago
Pop t'art.
1
Ah, so unfortunate 2 comments
dave99 · 21 weeks ago
Running in the rain is fun, especially in the summer! Think of it as free sweat.
2
Finally let him get a puppy 6 comments
dave99 · 21 weeks ago
Yeah if you want something badly enough to beg for it for 4 years and your spouse withholds it... maybe she doesn't love you
1
Absolute Madlad at a young age 10 comments
dave99 · 30 weeks ago
I smell child abuse
Indeed 2 comments
dave99 · 32 weeks ago
It will deteriorate over time anyway, that's how lithium ion batteries' lifespans work...
Getting dabbed on as you bleed out 4 comments
dave99 · 33 weeks ago
I'm a fully grown adult man, who lives in Alabama ironically, and someone who breaks into my house is getting shot. This kid deserves a medal
2
The Queens are here 2 comments
dave99 · 34 weeks ago
Also, this would be a hell of a lesbian fanfic
The Queens are here 2 comments
dave99 · 34 weeks ago
I should very much like to... how do I say this poetically... bury my head in Liv Tyler's bosom while I erupt like Mount Doom into her Shelob's tunnel.
It's all coming together 4 comments
dave99 · 34 weeks ago
I can kill every type of cancer. Put cancer cells in a petri dish, then let me blast it at point-blank with a #00 buckshot load from my 12-gauge shotgun. Boom, it's dead.
Oh, killing it WITHOUT harming the host? That's where it gets tricky...
· Edited 34 weeks ago
Well dam 4 comments
dave99 · 35 weeks ago
He wasn't a soldier, he was a Navy SEAL.
Barber being an absolute bro to a client with a memory problem 3 comments
dave99 · 35 weeks ago
It's probably an "after" picture, he probably didn't show up bald...
2
How far will you go??? 20 comments
dave99 · 37 weeks ago
Man, "apocalyptic crisis" and "regular Chinese day" sure are drawn pretty close together
2
This is no way to run a society 6 comments
dave99 · 38 weeks ago
Dang, I'm dumb ????
This is no way to run a society 6 comments
dave99 · 38 weeks ago
Lol I am being sarcastic, I'm trying to say that late fees are a natural part of for-profit companies and the business they do. I am all for late-fees because capitalism works.
This is no way to run a society 6 comments
dave99 · 38 weeks ago
Man, it's almost like for-profit companies want to provide an incentive to ensure that they receive the revenue they survive on in a timely manner!
4
So cool 16 comments
dave99 · 38 weeks ago
Dude I saw the sun today, and I had the sudden realization that its shape is the SAME circle as the circle in my car tires and MAN that's deep.
3
Respect ( not mine) 3 comments
dave99 · 41 weeks ago
Aye I was jokin with ye