I had a friend that smoked too much freedom. He was so free even the laws of gravity no longer bound him and he floated off the planet.

In what way is that a party?

Just a hypupthesis.

Mein Fur.

Mufasa: Simba, everything the dark touches is internet.
Simba: woah! But what about that bright place?
Mufasa: That is the outernet. You must never go there.

Get your shit together, Phinneas.

I'm dissapointed that the comment section isn't filled with drug related puns. For shame funsubstance, for shame.

Tax dollars hard at work.

Treeple

Even worse is when your parents stand over you with a straight face watching the screen and you have to look at normal things until they're gone, and when they finally leave they sigh in disappointment.

Please tell me you bought him

Here's you answer
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/canine-corner/201211/how-dogs-bark-in-different-languages

Much greet.
Very polite.
Wow

In soviet Russia school transfers you

One thing about the bible that weirds me out is how many things it explicitly forbids but people do anyway and see nothing wrong with. Blended fabrics, the eating of any sea creature that isn't fish, synthetic fibers, are just a few things that are forbidden. Despite that, how many go about wearing polyester, blended fabrics and enjoying, shellfish? What I'm saying is, don't take the bible too literally.

Not everyone likes onions. I know! What about a cake? Everyone loves cake!

"These aren't the kind of balls I was expecting."

A cats sits even if it don't fits.