I wonder if I'm in it 21 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
I realize they provided a pic of their own free will, but not for an art project. Since she used for public display instead of private viewing, this is a violation of their consent.
I’m not sure if she’s relying on anonymity, sexism, or just not caring but we have laws about this sort of thing.
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Edited 5 years ago
I’m not sure if she’s relying on anonymity, sexism, or just not caring but we have laws about this sort of thing.
Congratulations downstairs neighbor on your new fraking Chandelier!!!! 5 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
Advise the neighbor that in two days you are cutting the screws to below floor level and fixing the floor.
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Being such a whimper 12 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
If you already attend the gym a lot but just get scared, yeah, that’s reasonable. Take prevention measures as I mention, including picking a gym that acts against weirdos. That way they aren’t there to hang around inside or outside and bother you during workout or as you leave.
Being such a whimper 12 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
Look, it is beyond unacceptable to make someone interact with you when they are stuck somewhere. Exercising is definitely one of those times! So the people around you are invested in having no such behavior.
This is my experience, based on who I know. If you have a gym where it is tolerated, MOVE. I would bet a lot of money that is not the typical in your area.
If it’s a regular gym, with normal gym attitudes, sit a friend down and explain you are afraid to go. You need some help. Get your friend to accompany you. Watch carefully and observe people brushing off unwanted attention. Find people who you feel are safe. If necessary, try different times or even gyms until you are in a space you are comfortable. Pick a gym that has reliable parking close to the door. Maybe pick one that has a person who is required or able to walk you to your car as soon as you ask?
You’re not required to be uncomfortable so you’re “not causing trouble”. It’s your Earth, too. Enjoy it.
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Edited 5 years ago
This is my experience, based on who I know. If you have a gym where it is tolerated, MOVE. I would bet a lot of money that is not the typical in your area.
If it’s a regular gym, with normal gym attitudes, sit a friend down and explain you are afraid to go. You need some help. Get your friend to accompany you. Watch carefully and observe people brushing off unwanted attention. Find people who you feel are safe. If necessary, try different times or even gyms until you are in a space you are comfortable. Pick a gym that has reliable parking close to the door. Maybe pick one that has a person who is required or able to walk you to your car as soon as you ask?
You’re not required to be uncomfortable so you’re “not causing trouble”. It’s your Earth, too. Enjoy it.
Being such a whimper 12 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
There may be some weirdos, but it’s pretty gutsy to go to the gym strictly to harass or even bother females. First, because you’ll probably be thrown out if you do (for several reasons). Second, because you’re more likely to be confronted - up to and included a beatdown.
The type of guy who comes to the gym to workout on the regular is usually patient, kind, and focused. His workout plan is just another thing he committed to. His personal relationships are usually strong, and he takes his responsibilities seriously.
He is not interested in being patient or overlooking selfish or predatory behavior. He is offended as a man that women have to be afraid or polite when they are uncomfortable. He will not be kind to or ignore the moron who is abusing the gym or the good nature of the ladies trying to have a pleasant time and take care of their health.
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Edited 5 years ago
The type of guy who comes to the gym to workout on the regular is usually patient, kind, and focused. His workout plan is just another thing he committed to. His personal relationships are usually strong, and he takes his responsibilities seriously.
He is not interested in being patient or overlooking selfish or predatory behavior. He is offended as a man that women have to be afraid or polite when they are uncomfortable. He will not be kind to or ignore the moron who is abusing the gym or the good nature of the ladies trying to have a pleasant time and take care of their health.
Being such a whimper 12 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
I think a gym buddy is the best way to approach this. Take a gym buddy of your same gender and sexual preference (so, probably hetero female). The gym buddy must be willing to work out within 10 feet of you. S/he will handle any approaches and model responses.
Once you’ve been in situation you’re comfortable with many times, you *should* learn that there is very little to worry about and develop confidence in your gym mates. You may not always need a gym buddy.
If my friend was scared to go to the gym, I would go with her. I could work out when she did, just no headphones, and stay with her. It’s not fun to be afraid. My life experiences have taught me that being at a gym is probably *safer* than many other places. It’s got guys who care about themselves and who are putting effort into a self-improvement project. (Cont)
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Edited 5 years ago
Once you’ve been in situation you’re comfortable with many times, you *should* learn that there is very little to worry about and develop confidence in your gym mates. You may not always need a gym buddy.
If my friend was scared to go to the gym, I would go with her. I could work out when she did, just no headphones, and stay with her. It’s not fun to be afraid. My life experiences have taught me that being at a gym is probably *safer* than many other places. It’s got guys who care about themselves and who are putting effort into a self-improvement project. (Cont)
It will be weird if these three fight over imaginary sale on phone again 4 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
We need that two-pic of Zeus from Hercules where someone took off the beard and the chin.
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BRRM BRRM OH WHAT A FEELING, JUMPING MAN 7 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
If it’s a car you like, you might even eventually become able to tell years based on changes in shape and accessories; if you just keep a mild interest up over a long, long time.
And that’s IF you have almost no interest. You might learn the most common 10 to 40 cars within only a few years if you put occasional random short spurts of focus onto it.
(I haven’t, because I don’t have the interest. But I still kinda-sorta know a little bit anyway, because I drive a lot and am old. You probably subconsciously know more than you think.)
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Edited 5 years ago
And that’s IF you have almost no interest. You might learn the most common 10 to 40 cars within only a few years if you put occasional random short spurts of focus onto it.
(I haven’t, because I don’t have the interest. But I still kinda-sorta know a little bit anyway, because I drive a lot and am old. You probably subconsciously know more than you think.)
BRRM BRRM OH WHAT A FEELING, JUMPING MAN 7 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
Breeds!! Awesome.
Look, Google the company logo then find it on the front/back getting in/out of the car. There aren’t that many car companies. You’ll get to recognize the main handful of brands within a few weeks or months. Don’t do anything else.
Your brain will eventually notice *this* Honda/Toyota/Ford doesn’t look like the last one and discover why and start to build a file. Ah, Civics are smaller than Accords. Scions are boxy, different boxy than Prius or CRVs, though.
Just don’t force it or feel bad. It’s not an area of interest for you. Lots of people feel like that.
Shame or obligation can’t make your brain care about stuff. But it will pick up more if you put a request and small effort in, then leave it be. If you want to learn, you can. If you don’t, then don’t bother! It’s nbd either way.
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Edited 5 years ago
Look, Google the company logo then find it on the front/back getting in/out of the car. There aren’t that many car companies. You’ll get to recognize the main handful of brands within a few weeks or months. Don’t do anything else.
Your brain will eventually notice *this* Honda/Toyota/Ford doesn’t look like the last one and discover why and start to build a file. Ah, Civics are smaller than Accords. Scions are boxy, different boxy than Prius or CRVs, though.
Just don’t force it or feel bad. It’s not an area of interest for you. Lots of people feel like that.
Shame or obligation can’t make your brain care about stuff. But it will pick up more if you put a request and small effort in, then leave it be. If you want to learn, you can. If you don’t, then don’t bother! It’s nbd either way.
How nice of them 19 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
Yeah. I hear that. It’s 75 paragraphs just that one sentence.
Im super annoying though, so: Polite means polished to smoothness. A decent working definition of good manners is kindness in all situations. Throwing a sheet over reality doesn’t make it smooth or polished and it’s not kind to anyone.
It’s not even kind to the shielded group. People are people. Teaching history with lies (of commission and omission) and distortion makes people delusional about what narratives are likely, and what they should expect. Teaching people how humans have been and what we’ve done is necessary for us to craft narratives outside our own experience. Otherwise, why bother taking school time to learn history? Except now the view of humans and society is wrong. Garbage teaching of reality in; garbage understanding of reality out.
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Edited 5 years ago
Im super annoying though, so: Polite means polished to smoothness. A decent working definition of good manners is kindness in all situations. Throwing a sheet over reality doesn’t make it smooth or polished and it’s not kind to anyone.
It’s not even kind to the shielded group. People are people. Teaching history with lies (of commission and omission) and distortion makes people delusional about what narratives are likely, and what they should expect. Teaching people how humans have been and what we’ve done is necessary for us to craft narratives outside our own experience. Otherwise, why bother taking school time to learn history? Except now the view of humans and society is wrong. Garbage teaching of reality in; garbage understanding of reality out.
White mode for the win 29 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
C’mon, it’s totally self-centered but we don’t mean the EARTH is dying when we say the Earth is dying. We mean it’s become less hospitable for our survival.
The planet will be fine. Millions of species on the planet will be fine, even if we have another event like you describe. Just not *our* species. Whatever the outcome for humans over the next two hundred years, most of us would rather not have the various forms of local and global upheaval that more extreme temperatures would cause.
But you’re right. Those who are only worried about the planet instead of humans can rest easy.
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The planet will be fine. Millions of species on the planet will be fine, even if we have another event like you describe. Just not *our* species. Whatever the outcome for humans over the next two hundred years, most of us would rather not have the various forms of local and global upheaval that more extreme temperatures would cause.
But you’re right. Those who are only worried about the planet instead of humans can rest easy.
How nice of them 19 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
It’s this type of reframing of history that has lead weak and stupid men to believe it’s their destiny to have a valued place is society. Then try to enforce it with violence when reality makes it clear they won’t be handed it. This is not benign.
You're a Harry wizard 15 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
Nooooooo, adding future plot to this picture is the opposite of a good idea....
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Well I guess it does 1 comments
Who's with me =) 7 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
Keanu doesn’t need an Oscar. Plus the required effort and subsequent party would probably just give him an existential crisis. It’s too big a disconnect, all that wanting and pushing in exchange for: bigger paydays, maybe more interesting roles, and bragging rights. He has enough of those things now. An Oscar doesn’t bestow anything he wants that he doesn’t have already.
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Squirrel-proof bird feeder 6 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
There are no squirrel-proof bird feeders. Just feeders the squirrels haven’t worked out quite yet, and ones they have.
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Shit man my uncle is left handed :( 9 comments
debbidownr
· 5 years ago
Unrelated sentences. But yes, being left handed is just an endless string of low- level annoyances and weird smudges or callouses.
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Of course, if they provided it without asking her if she wanted it first, then they have no right to consent. I mean, clearly in that case ‘consent’ is not an important principle for them.)