Pass some our way then, it was in the 60's all week here.

Rated 'R' for 'Rest'.

Yeah, because sleeping on a love seat is soooo comfortable. Not.

Didn't see that one coming.

Some surgeons use these instead of the usual steel scalpel.

As a girl I can say this is true.

If he ever hangs himself; he'd make a great mirror ball.
Yes, I realize that I am a horrible person.

https://goo.gl/images/sDCQAz

Pun intended.

Guess no one gets to drink tonight.

Cole and Marmalade! (Talking about the cats).

That's why I wear shorts with my swimsuit.

It's German.
This is what my translator said:
Über so günstige Preise freuen sich alle:
About as reasonable prices all rejoice.

Smug kitty shows no fear.

Clever little bastard.

Strip-purr.

Yes, a very slow painless death.