Step 2 ... please add air holes

Your blade may be unbearable, but thankfully I am not a bear!
*slaps you with the hilt of your own sword*

*gets impaled but flesh regrows around your sword and takes it from your hands*
Oh look at that, I've been impaled

You called?

*breaks my knee off to dodge the blade swipe, as I rush in to your neck*

*ankle bleeds and gooshes*
Good move! Now take this!
*swipes at your shoulder and lands a hit*

*thigh slashes open, another arm rips itself out of the wound*
you're starting to look unarmed!

*grabs the book with my free hand and begins to read it as we continue battling*
Ooooo this has some fascinating tactics in here! How about this?
*swipes at your hand to knock your weapon away*

BACON LOVER?

*bleeds from the side*
Excellent strike! But how about this?
*grows a new arm from the gash and pulls out another sword*

No worries!
*prepares for another strike*

*hits your knee with my blade and, using my skills and a needle, sews your cloak back simultaneously*
apologies!

touche!
*charges forward for a stab*

*does a graceful spin to block your strike*
tally ho!

En route!
*parries your slash away and aims for your shoulder*

*makes a bad screechy sound*
I'm ready!

Its the length of a small hand axe handle

That is beautiful!
All I have on me is a hand saw on a stick. Will that work?

I dont need a cloak when I have a labcoat.
What kind of sword are you gonna use?

With lots of horny apparantly

Left

You disgust me...
*goes back to watching korone*

I feel like you've fallen deep into this rabbit hole