Yep. You are the only one in the whole world. Congratulations OP. You win life.

"Your under attack". Dump her

30,000 dollar-euros?

Dice aren't used for adding ...

I'll take "things that didn't happen" for 500, Alex.

Number 12 Will Blow You Away! What He Said Next Was Genius! I hate these posts.

Oh, boy! Now when I am trapped in a time vortex and sent to 1870's Bavaria, I will get laid!

WASD

Captain?

Alright, lemme sit you fuckers down and explain why we don't use the oxford comma. The associated press (aka the guys that write your newspaper) recommend against it because it is a waste of print and of space. We aren't idiots: we can infer the existence of a pause there from context. No one will ever respond to your email with "hey, did you just call me toast and orange juice?" And if I write "Alex, Bob and Sam went to school", no one is gonna think that Bob and Sam are conjoined twins (plot twist: they are). BECAUSE THAT'S MORONIC. We give newspaper readers enough credit to not be idiots; I suggest you do the same with your readers.

That's not the issue. The issue is that they lead you on, they flirt and they make it seem like they do want to start a relationship, and then "friendzone" you. But I've never stayed friends with a girl who "friendzoned" me, they always just seem to avoid me afterwards - hell, I'd gladly stay friends if I were given the opportunity. The whole thing is bullshit, not to even mention the number of times I've been lied to by women. So screw your "holier-than-thou" attitude, OP.

And the creepy forest represents...

That periodic table is way out of date.

I guess you could say that whiskey was ... space aged.

How the hell do you kiss without touching each other?

Coincidence? I think so.

Thought he was gonna start swearing ... was disappointed.

Simpsons did it.

Yes.

what is mfw?

lol. 946 mL.

Who really won, him or his parents?

Someone ate a tomato for breakfast? Now that's horrifying.

I just bing searched and got the same results for each of these. Nice try, Google.

That employee was the only guy working on Half-Life 3.