I love the fact that ur username is slayer!

I can't figure out whether this is cool or sadistic.

Eat. Sleep. Rave. Lift.

Why does the ostrich have nothing in its mouth in the mirror??

THANK YOU!! This is exactly why I love him

Because I don't want to regret anything, I never go out cause I know this will happen.

And now the cat owner goes missing every morning too

I wouldn't mind fluffy mosquitos at all

I keep checking where they are and then watching their face cause I know what's coming next and then I start screaming at them to read faster. I can't help myself

"Oh teacher, what small hands you have"

That is a lot of things I would need to pee on..

Tears? And blood?

If I ever got an Oscar I would go up on stage and be like "Hah! Got you there. I'm just the announcer for the real winner... Leonardo Dicaprio!!!" (in your face evil committee)

Not to be rude but who even cares as long as you are comfortable in your own skin? Why would you want a stranger telling you how you should look or what you should do

Forget mount everest, why haven't more people tried this? Why haven't I?

Only if I get a real life 'get out of jail free' card. Don't ask

Hold on, which one is the hedgehog?

To make it better, you should have multiple Benedict cucumberbatchs so it could be an actual cucumber batch :>

And then you're like I don't care how cold it is, I'm wearing (kinda) short stuff till these have been sufficiently shown off.

Wait how did it come from inside the toilet bowl???? How is that possible??! Omygosh was someone going to use it and saw a freaking snake just waiting to attack someone's naked butt??

If I can't pull it to see the number, don't I need a personal trainer more than someone who can?

I wanted to die not knowing the crabby patty formula!! That was the one thing I never wanted to know *cries hysterically*

*grumpy cat meme* NO!