That's why you don't make phones that are mostly glass

I didn't realize it until this very moment that I had never seen a baby turkey before

Onlyu a man from Missouri can do something with simple intentions oh to have it backfire greatly

When your mom comes home and you didn't do your chores

Her what?

@timebender25
I thought you posted this for a moment

So selfish

Stranger Things is so good at creeping you out while making you die of laughter. Long live Dustin, my favorite character

If you're over 350, you shouldn't be encouraged to eat more

I decided yo try sex on my period for the first time. I waited till I was barely bleeding. Never again

It's amazing that this picture will get reposted constantly, but still manages to make it to the front page

I saw a porn where a woman put a whole bowling ball up her cooch

"I HAVE BEEN SLAIN!"
"Not now, Richard
"GAH! I FALL OVER AND MY LAST BREATHS ARE EXCRUCIATING, BUT I AM COMFORTED WITH THE THOUGHT THAT IT'LL BE OVER SOON"
"This is why your wife left you"

That's how my cat is so I pushed the tv back a bit so he has his own perch to lay down without blocking my view. At least it works until he stands up

Look, look, look, look, look, we can't keep stopping at every "sop", "yeld", or "one vay" sign!