The only thing more painful than math

I seriously felt a pain in my brain trying to read this, I'll take math anyday over this!

*taps head* my moron translator is on the fritz again!

Step aside and let the true master decipher this message!
...What the actual....give me a sec.
"Hey, what's up? How have you been? What's happening? Cool. This is a little awkward, but, you don't know me (something) do I. Though I'm looking forward to know you, and I hope you shouldn't be a problem. Looking forward. Thank you, Tacay."
Not that it makes sense or anything...

I'm not sure if I should dislike because if the content or like because of the joke.

I think its trying to communicate