Margaritas

I thought you might get a kick out of that so I figured I'd leave
'
You're telling me you don't enjoy blowing rock salt out the margarita?
'
Not *really* I'm just making a small effort at being courteous and not turning every new post into something filled with sexual innuendo. I know it can be a bit grating for people. If, however, people happen upon it this far back in the past, that's entirely on them

Awe mama-bear. For all your talk of being a psychopath you really are sweetheart. Though I'm afraid you're fighting a losing battle there. Wherever I go, innuendo will follow. And I'll summon you there more often then not. You're always a sport and I enjoy Auntie Xvarnah's humour.
.
Edit: P.S. I'm just proud these thoughts are going through your head. Truly a gutter-minded veteran
.
I'm not saying I couldn't acquire a taste, but no, not particularly.

Now I didn't say I was a psychopath I said you should see some of the more sociopathic thought processes I have.
'
Haha it probably is, but at least an effort was made. Tbh there's been a lot put into this little website staying up and running so if I think it's reasonable I do my best not to alienate people from it. Given the history some people here have, or just there general preferences, I don't think them expressing discomfort when posts about their pets or such are suddenly completely overrun with people talking about sex or whatever else.
'
Lol I've gone from mom to mistress to auntie and back again
'
Pft these are fairly mild compared to how they could have gotten when I was a young whippersnapper
'
My brain is actually still attempting to figure out what the innuendo for rocksalt out the margarita would be but none of the imagery so far is pleasant

And I told you I'd love to, and then we can compare notes. Perhaps when we get a drink and you tell me your age.
.
I make judgement calls every day. It depends on the flavour of your feistiness.
.
Hah, you have have been young once, but I doubt Mama-bear was ever a whippersnapper.
.
Please share if you come up with something noteworthy. These things should be celebrated you know.

I'm not sure about that-- I almost lost you on the umbrella strangulation
'
Wait I've been auntie most of the day. Are aunts fiesty?
'
I could have snapped a whip in my day
'
Haha you almost sounded too proper in that last bit. Like british or business proper. "Do let us know if you come up with something, we would be most interested in hearing receiving your input"

Lost me?! I told you I was proud. I also decided not to wear a tie when we meet up for fear of my life standard safety precautions yougethedrill.
.
Extremely!
.
Hah, then how'd you get so domesticated?
.
I'm glad to hear youd be interested in hearing recieving my input. It's nice to see you put thought into wording your comments correctly. Traits of a semi-dedicated perfectionist ;)

You assume not wearing the tie would be enough to keep you safe, though. Which it probably would, but we'll pretend
'
I'm trying to figure out the spectrum now lmao. Are mistresses more or less fiesty than aunts?
'
Are the two mutually exclusive?
'
"I'd appreciate your input."
'
Lol so so far today I'm a fiesty domesticated semi-dedicated perfectionist who just gets you and who you're afraid to wear umbrella-ties around

Haha I'd be safe even if you had a knife, but let's pretend ;)
.
Indeed they are. Mistresses aren't feisty, they're dominant and assertive. Feisty is more associated with a cute little kitten who wants to cause damage.. but can't. Like mama-bear! ;)
.
Ahhhhhh see now that's much more clear. Thank you for clarifying.
.
And yes. The feisty is self-explanatory. The domesticated is in the lack of whip and snap. The semi-dedicated comes from the (commendable) effort to put your best foot forward and converse with some degree of sophistication. You definitely have that down. But we all also make errors, and for the frequency of yours, you slot in right at semi-dedicated. And that's not a bad thing btw.. it just is...

Oh yeah, and you might wring my neck one day so... no ties haha

@xvarnah and now mama-bear, I must retire for the eve. I bid the three the kindest of salutations and a warm and pleasant night

If you can, go for the eye. It might not be a kill shot but it will be sufficiently distracting. Mind you there's a lot of bone there and chances of being blocked are increased, so emphasis on "if you can."
'
I'm starting to feel like I have multiple personality disorder x)
'
Haha I was actually referencing a song again
'
I don't own any whips, but I imagine a belt would suffice just as well. Haha I'm afraid that may actually just be largely the natural way I internet-talk. I'm not usually TRYING to sound sophisticated. I guess it balances out because I sound like a bloody mess when I talk out loud.
'
Is there a specific reason I'm wringing your neck?
'
Much too late but hopefully you had a good night

@Xvarnah pro tip: go for the neck. A solid karate chop or punch directly to the throat will incapacitate your opponent completely. Follow up with a crotch shot and you should have a pretty good day.
.
Nah, just a variety of feistiness. BUT OMG have you seen Split?! I'm 2/3 through, started watching it yday. It is SO good.
.
You and me baby, ain't nothing but mammals, let's do it like.. >.>
.
That's a good thing. It means you're relatively intelligent. I would not speak to you or you weren't ;)
.
And yes.. I will most likely drive you up the wall one day and then you'll kill me. Pretty standard stuff really

@shikharizard well yes, the neck is likely the most effective (or the kidneys if you manage to avoid the ribs), but if you have the option why not go for the eye
'
I think you classify most things to do with the crotch as a pretty good day
'
Haha I was going to watch it when it came out but then someone told me the ending and that kind of made me less interested. Not because I knew how it ended but more because of the ending itself
'
Be honest now - did you have to use google for that?
'
Huzzah today marks the day I've graduated into relative intelligence! Lmao my parents must be so proud
'
Oh? You've been killed in the past have you?

@Xvarnah because you might miss, and then get killed by the person you're attacking...
.
Hahaha I actually laughed out loud. Well, you're not wrong, and you didn't even need a sign saying "You are right". Imagine that >.>
.
WATCH IT. Please don't share or ruin the ending for me, this is the first movie in a while I care not to know, but seriously- just to see the quality of McAvoy's acting. So worth it.
.
Yes and no. I LOVE that song, so I knew the lyric, but I just couldn't remember from where. Google jogged my memory. Also, I strongly approve of your choice of song.
.
No, today marks the day I've told you I noticed. You've probably had some amount of intelligence for a while. I've definitely had a positive effect on you, but I think you deserve some credit!
.
Many times, and many close calls

The same is true for the throat. But again that's why I emphasized "if you can." If there's a high probability you're going to miss it's just not worthwhile
'
You're liable to get in trouble if you keep laughing out loud at work at this rate <.< also I never carry a sign-- it's much more rewarding when people realize I'm right all on their own
'
I didn't say anything haha. I was very careful not to say anything about the ending and I'm not going to, don't worry haha
'
It seemed fitting given all the innuendo. I remember when that was literally one of the dirtiest songs you could hear. And then eminem came along and blew that out of the water
'
Haha you've definitely had SOME effect on me. Time will tell if it's positive
'
I'm starting to believe you may in fact be a cat

In a situation where my life is literally at risk, no I won't miss.
.
Lol, I'm so checked out. I'm quitting in 6 weeks, maybe less, I almost feel bad but this is the corporate world. Life goes on.
.
Ok that movie is so fucked. I'm so excited to go back and watch unbreakable and glass now.
.
Idk. Eminem's lyrics are quality poetry. My mind is a little mechanical and I honestly appreciate his rap so much, I don't see all the filth as filth. He does such a good job, whereas Bloodhound Gang is shamelessly sex oriented. I support that message btw.
.
You love the effect I've had on you. You wouldn't be as overly sexual as you are without external stimuli. You're welcome.
.
Nahh, I'm just learning the culture of my new friend @FatCluff

@shikharizard
"Angsty love snake."
'
That is all.

(I'll respond to the rest later - don't have time right now)

Hehehe, I'm glad you enjoyed that. I'm looking forward to seeing the rest of what you have to say

Well then don't go for the eye haha. Tbh eyes do a gross bulging thing when you stab near them anyway
'
Wait you're quitting? I thought you were excited about this job? Or is this an old one?
'
Haha you finished it then?
'
And no, not everything eminem does is filth but some of it, especially his early stuff, was very much blatant in your face filth haha. Bloodhound gang isn't quality overall, but I do appreciate their dedication to innuendo in "the bad touch" and "uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss"
'
People wouldn't be AWARE of me being overtly sexual haha
'
How do you explain the multiple lives then? You can hardly chalk that up to culture

Hah, are you really concerned about the weird bulges in the head of the person who is now trying to kill you? Maybe that's why you're nicer than me.
.
Old one. Doing the new gig part time for a little bit longer. I have some final deals in my current pipeline to close, and get paid for.
.
Indeed. It's incredible in a scarring, gruesome way.
.
Right, and that's right up my alley. Especially the "in your face filth" part. Bloodhound Gang is trash. I actually enjoy the music of Bad Touch, but everything else is terrible. I just appreciate their passion for sex- kindred spirits.
.
Why hide it? Why do you care what other people MIGHT think? I guess technically I'm a qualify as a mild exhibitionist. I don't really want people to watch me have sex, but I don't mind that they should know I'm about to have sex - specifically because I want people to know IDGAF what they think. One of my more twisted quirks ;)
.
Self-preservation. Being me all the time is too vulnerable.

I'd just like to say I'd forgotten all about the eye thing and was once again very uncertain about what direction the conversation was taking all of a sudden. So I suppose I was concerned about "weird bulges" after all. And I'm not concerned for THEIR sake. If they're anything like rats They literally pop out of the skull and are all grey and such. It's mildly repulsive.
'
Oh that makes sense. I thought you'd had one helluva mid-life crisis all of a sudden. "I got this awesome new job! I'm quitting in 6 weeks!"
'
I'm glad you enjoyed it haha. Someone was talking to me about "the sinner" awhile ago so I watched that. Certainly has the scarring part down
'
Read that as "I appreciate their passion for sex-kindred spirits." Didn't know wtf a sex-kindred spirit was. I think that's only the 9th thing I've misread so far today
'
Oh I don't care so much about what most of them might think, I just believe in a time and a place. And as I said- chameleon. Different sides for different people.

I know it makes some people uncomfortable, and others I simply don't want to engage in etc etc etc. A myriad reasons
'
"Mild exhibitionist" sounds a bit like you're putting it mildly haha. I don't think you're a hardcore exhibitionist but you hardly seem the type to shy away from, say, feeling up your girlfriend in an elevator
'
Vulnerable?

“Mildly repulsive”. Yes, just mildly.
.
Nah, I think this job could be the one. This could be the one to take me where I want to go.
.
It’s just so shocking! Nothing shocks me anymore.. it’s nice to find something that shocks you out of the daze. You should watch it. I mean, I like eating the sacred tuna- but this guy takes it to another level hahaha
.
Hahaha place and a time. See, that’s why perspective is interesting. Chameleon is a very delicate way of putting it. Nice to know there is another side to you- even nicer to know that this is the less graphic side haha. As for making people uncomfortable, people will survive.

Haha, that was the 2nd time with a 2nd girl. My greatest feat however, is not even mine. I went to UBCO in Kelowa- at the beginning/end of every academic year we have a huge concert - pretty well known artists show up, 5000 people, it’s a hoot. It’s like a huge end of the year party, the suns out and Okanagan weather.
.
I found a random girl, we started dancing. 45 minutes into grinding on each other, I’ve kept it gentlemanly. Finally, I put my hands on her boobs - and she delicately takes them off.
.
I’m disappointed, but I get it. Then she undoes her blouse, takes off her bra, throws it at the rapper, leaves her blouse undone and manually puts my hands back on goods. This is right at the front, in the middle of the crowd, leaning on the fences with me behind her, keeping us standing and alive.

Once in a while, the suns shines upon us. These concerts are heavily advertised, recorded, photographed as promotional material for blueprint events.
.
I got to be the guy who danced with the girl who threw her bra... there’s pictures of us making out aggressively, of me with my hands where they were, etc etc.
.
When I was childish enough to be ‘proud’ of the whole thing, I was proud. I’ve grown up a little since then, but it still makes a good story.
.
Aaaand ignore the vulnerable thing. I thought you meant something else. Tomatoes make me nauseous the same way they do for you.

Haha my bad. I should spare the Gorey details
'
Well I hope it does work out for you. It sounded like you were looking forward to it. Even if it's not a job you end up at forever if you can get an enjoyable year or two out of it even then you're doing better than a lot of other workplaces
'
Wait are we still talking about split?
'
Maybe, I don't know. It just seems normal to me. Nobody acts the same around strangers as they do around friends as they do around family as they do around children as they do around enemies as they do around coworkers as they do around lovers. Plus I find it would be restricting to the carrying-on of a lot of conversations haha. Don't get too excited-- there's also the side that makes everyone think "well she's quiet and entirely harmless."

Well it seems SHE was certainly an exhibitionist. You seem to find interesting women I'll give you that much. As a side note I feel I should mention just in case it would bother you (I doubt it would but you never know) that it's quite possible some random person could read this and look up your pics and info and such. Again, I doubt you CARE, but on the off chance you do I just thought I'd throw it out there
'
You're not proud of it anymore?
'
I reject your request to ignore the vulnerable thing. Consider it very much acknowledged.
'
I think you're the first person I've encountered who experiences that as well haha. Although They definitely don't bother me as much as they used to-- I can handle eating a slice or so on a burger or such. Weirdly I could eat the grape tomatoes just fine.
As a side note: I bloody well hate slicing tomatoes

Yeah I'm pumped for the job. I can crush it, and it pays like there's no tomorrow. But it's commission only, so I have to be sure I can sustain myself long-term. But it could easily make me a millionaire before I'm 30, and I'm into that
.
We were!
.
Haha, you still believe in a lady in the sheets, a freak... I'm always the freak. I live, embody, unleash the freak. Set him free and let him run your life for a while- you'd be amazed what you can accomplish with no inhibition and no fear. Plus girls dig the confidence. And I reject your request to 'not get too excited' - consider me quite excited. I assure you, nobody thinks I'm harmless
.
And yes, lucky for me, she certainly was. I got to dance for 2 hours with my hands directly on... with all the guys around me super jelly, and all the girls giving her dirty looks for stealing the spotlight. A truly unforgettable experience. Next item on the list is a public threesome at Stampede. Wait.. somebody beat me to the punch hahaha

Hahaha, it's a good story, but not reallyyy something to be proud of. I bumped into that girl years later in Van, while I was less intoxicated. No judgement, but she's not really "take home to meet your mom material". For me to still be proud, I'd have to get a wholesome, self-respecting young girl to do the same things with/for me. That would quite an accomplishment.
.
Edit: if someone cares enough to go back and pin-point the concert/location/time and find us in the crowd, they can know who I am. They DESERVE to know at that point. There was a time when we wouldn't share our names with strangers on the internet... now people have 14 different social medias to document every second of their life. *Gags*
.
And I am 100% in sync with you. They make me nauseous, but I can tolerate them in subs/burgers, but if they do fall out independently, I can't eat them and I won't put them back in.. but I have absolutely no issues with cherry tomatoes.. strange stuff.

Commission only sounds like it could be tough, but if you're good at selling it shouldn't be too much a problem I would hope
.
I wasn't aware there was any tuna in that movie so that's where I got confused haha
'
I imagine so haha. Although getting girls isn't exactly a high priority of mine, personally <.< haha I was talking more about me in that last bit. I definitely wouldnt think anyone would mistake you for harmless :P
'
I guess it says something about my mind that I'm sitting here thinking "that seems a highly impractical way to dance, though." Wait someone had a threescore in a stampede?
'
..not that you'd have taken her home to meet your mom anyway. You just enjoy corrupting people

Haha well I'm one of those people who never got involved in social media and have seen too many stories go sideways so I tend to err on the side of caution and give others the chance to do the same
'
I've actually gotten to the point where I can eat like 1 or 2 slices on their own (not that there's ever reason to do so), but after that...
Normally when I mention that to people they look like I've grown a second head x) wonder if there's something in adult tomatoes to cause that reaction. Admittedly they are part of the nightshade family so who knows

Honestly, financially speaking if I'm putting in the work, I should be swimming in it. It's more just the fear factor of switching from a "safe and secure" salaried position to CO. I spent most of my career CO, but I didn't have mortgage then. I wont back down to fear, but it's still nerve wracking to make the jump.
.
He kidnaps and eats 3 teenage girls! Plenty of tuna! But he takes eating the tuna a little more seriously than I do.
.
Auntie X returns. Ok, getting dudes then. I heard you woke up with a big grin at some dudes place ;) . And getting girls doesn't have to be the goal you know- its just as gratifying to know the girl would go out with you, regardless of whether you actually do. Right now, I dont really want to go out with anybody, and it's really putting a damper on the mood. Ya feel? And I'm not as harmful and I want people to think
.

How can you not know about that? 2015 or 2016 I think- it was like vaguely behind a shed in broad daylight! My heroes.
.
And dont be cruel, it doesn't suit you haha. I would've taken my ex home to meet my mom. I'm not always a Grade A horndog. When I'm in a healthier place I'm actually an ok guy- I treat my girlfriends like queens. But I do enjoy corrupting people ;)
.
Me too. Hate it. Dont use it. LinkedIn and I keep FB around for my contacts, but I don't USE it.
.
Yeah I literally dont cook with then at all. Zero. I'll use tomato products but not fresh, and I can handle them in other things but not alone. I'd be a bigger fan if they could be used as hallucinogens

I think it's only natural to have nerves when there's instability at stake. The good news at least is, if it seems like it's not working out, I'd assume you're not obligated to stay there. And you have a background in commission and sales. The key is probably making sure you have a bit of a nest egg set aside in case there is a dry spell. But you probably know all of this already haha. The reward may well be worth the risk
'
Okay so just to clarify he eats them or he consumes them? <.<
'
Haha well auntie is better than edgy teen. Yes I understand the first part at least-- just because you don't want to GO to the party doesn't mean you don't want to be invited. When you say it's putting a damper on the mood do you mean us talking about it? Because we certainly don't have to
'
'
What can I say? I don't really follow the news that much, particularly the parts that have to do with 3somes (which my phone changes to threescore so that's fun)

Well, I was more aiming for facetious than cruel but seems I landed somewhere in the middle. I didn't think you'd actually care to introduce any of your girlfriends to your parents one way or the other is more what I was meaning
'
Picking fights randomly on the Internet aside, you're not an OK guy right now? From the way you talk about how you think relationships should work it does seem like you put a lot of effort in when you date someone
'
My brief experiences with Twitter have made it apparent that it's its own special breed of cancer. Makes me very glad I never had any urge to join any of these sites
'
Only vaguely related but I cannot for the life of me cook onions. Doesn't matter how low and slow they somehow end up burnt <_< luckily I don't mind them burnt but still. I imagine if they could they'd be a lot more popular-- especially in BC

So I've been working 7am - midnight today. Boss and I made some magic. He convinced my to quit my job this week so.. that's happening. Also, I hate dry spells, dont you? ;)
.
Under any other circumstances those verbs would be confusing. I eat them. He consumes them.
.
No, not us talking about it. Just the fact that I'm not really motivated to go on the hunt. My boss and his (female) assistant tore me apart about it today.
.
How can you not have heard about a hugely popular public threesome in your own city? >.>
.
Cruel. And tbh all my exes have eventually wanted to meet my parents, and wanted me to meet theirs. I can't fathom why, but eh.
.
I do. This is was what broke my ex and I apart. She couldn't reconcile the fact that I'd be willing to tear the world to pieces to get what I want out of life... but I was a gentleman amongst gentleman to her. I treated her like royalty, but professionally I'd be prepared to do anything to win. She didn't approve.

Twitter, snap, Instagram, pinterest all suck. More than being cancerous garbage, they're useless time-sinks that make people think they're doing something constructive. I don't get it.
.
Hahahaha ironical. I can't cook onions well either, though I dont get why they'd be more popular in BC.

Wait was that all at one job? Or between the two? Because that seems like a very long shift. The hell aren't you asleep <.< and I've heard KY can help with that
'
Well I imagine there has to be at least one or two other circumstances they wouldn't be confusing. But that makes much more sense. For awhile I genuinely thought you meant he ATE them and I was like "nobody mentioned THAT part of the movie to me and that seems like a pretty big thing to miss."
'
Oh God were they giving you a spiel about how you "just have to get out there" or "just haven't met the right one" or some nonsense?
'
I haven't heard of a 3some in any city much less mine. Also I have no idea what city we're talking about and I feel I ought to if I'm going to be living there
'
I'd think if you told them about the shit you've been through with your parents they'd have the sense to back off about wanting to meet them. Or maybe that's just me. If the people aren't going to be somehow connected/involved in lives in

.... A non-negative way it seems like a waste of time to meet them. But what do I know
'
Oddly I've encountered a lot of males who do or claim they would behave in a similar manner if their situations allowed for it. And by that I mean pretty much look after the one or two people they care about and watch the rest of the world burn (by literally setting it on fire as needed). I can certainly understand why that might bother someone, but if it's not an aspect of your personality you hide than it seems a bit odd to me to be a dealbreaker
'
Like if you meet someone and they inform you "every two weeks I kill a puppy," and you try and have a relationship with them but get shocked and appalled when they actually DO kill a puppy. And then you complain they killed a puppy.
'
Then again a lot of women have trouble with ambitious men, and visa versa.
'

It took me longer than I'd like to admit to figure out what the hell snap was. I think for a lot of people it's not entirely different than what we do on here. It gives them a platform to share media and socialize etc. Which I don't entirely have a problem with. But people on social media literally post every single aspect of their lives-- or rather, the simulated part of their lives they want to present to you. And you get caught up in petty drama and so much other BS. Plus I never had the interest in getting into fights with my extended family over the Internet.
There's other reasons but I'm lazy and unmotivated and you get the idea
'
It's a shame because good caramelized onions can be really great, but alas that's not to be part of my future apparently.
'
I admit I worded that in a very confusing manner. I meant if tomatoes were hallucinogenic they'd be a lot more popular in BC

I'm literally lying here on his couch, and I can't sleep because we had too many vodka red bulls. One job, the new one. And I prefer natural lubrication. It tastes better anyway ;)
.
Nah, he consumed them. They were his "sacred food". I too see the food as sacred, but for eating only, not consuming. That's a mess even I dont want to make, and I love making a mess hahaha
.
No, more like "you're being a pussy" and "you need to get laid". I told you, they're like me. I've found my place. It also means I have to deal with tasting my own medicine, and he hadn't even started holding me to his standards- which are stratospherically high.
.
Well, since it's just us, based on the circumstantial evidence I believe you live in Calgary? And I believe you have a stampede every year, and I believe a girl elected to "save a horse and ride two cowboys instead". I am very appreciative of her animal rights activism.

And no, I'm honest with my gfs. They know the story. Including the fact that while my parents were nazis, and would still be if I hadn't straightened them out, on the surface they're very well-adjusted people. If you met them, youd be left with a great impresion. They were just awful parents to us as we were growing up, until I finally told them straight up that it was going to stop or we'd never speak again.
.
No, I don't hide it at all. I told her on our first date. I would gladly set the world on fire. She was just a naive child.. she didn't take me seriously, didn't think I was as bad as I am, and women have this way of thinking they can change men... which she did. In many ways and for the better (temporarily anyway) - but not that aspect of me. I want "it" too much for that.
.
And for the life of me I still dont get why that is. I loved her, for who she is, and how she was with me. I wanted the same from her. I didn't ask her to participate, I just told her the truth..

..that when I'm at work and I have my professional persona on, I'm aggressive and ruthless. I'm like that intrinsically, so the fact that I let that side of me out only at work is - I think - a good thing. It's an outlet.
.
She didn't care. She wanted me to be a saint all the time, and I only a saint at the very best of times. The rest of the time I make Satan look like a good dude, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
.
Edit: carmelized onions are the bomb. Shame that neither of us can make them eh?
.
And now I get it. I'm pretty sure Albertans statistically take more hard drugs than BC-ites, but what do I know?

You stayed at his place?
'
Technically the two aren't mutually exclusive, but I agree it's preferable to eat than to consume >.>
'
That just sounds like the R-rated version of what I said haha. Although I suppose technically getting laid doesn't require a relationship for a lot of people
'
Let's be honest here - you don't actually expect me to reveal what city I Live in now do you? 'Lady Mysterious' has a reputation to maintain after all. Also I forgot the stampede was a thing. I went to it several years ago, but all the cowgirls I saw were riding horses. I didn't think you participated in the threesome
'
I've met a few of those people. They present as normal but underneath they're just a mess

Haha I'm probably a little bit guilty of not so much trying to change guys but sometimes just believing they'll be better than they say they will be. But usually there's a reason for that. If it seems there's not then we both basically draw our lines in the sand and see if we can live with where we've drawn them. <- though this is applying more to friendships than romantic relationships.
'
I do think women maybe can't *change* men so much as *influence* them. The problem usually ends up coming when people make unreasonable demands and *think* that the person respecting your wishes is the same as that person actively changing who they are.
'
It sounds like your ex was, as you say, naive. Maybe even a little spoiled. You can't fit a square peg through a round hole, and knowingly getting involved with a square peg and then demanding it stop being square is insanity

It really is a tragedy haha. I've tried several times but no matter how low and slow I go, it just ends with them being burned.
'
I'm not sure about the statistics of harder drugs (I know we have quite the scandalous love affair with fentanyl over here), but BC has always had a special place for marijuana

I stayed at his place.
.
Yes, I'm sure you do ;)
.
It doesn't for anyone. Its just always better in a relationship. To date I have not had one single crazy hot one-night stand. There's just no chemistry. The movies LIED.
.
I can't imagine what harm it would do, but at this point I expect no revelations. You're like Fort Knox, but full of bad puns instead of gold. Also, I am extremely proud you think of me as an animal. All women want a little bit of animal in their life.

As sad as it is to say- yeah, pretty accurate.
.
And I see! You're one of those who wants to believe the other person is better than they are. I get a bad wrap for being a guy with high or unreasonable standards. I honestly dont think I am - and I'm fair and objective. So when I do find someone I like, there's nothing more for them to prove.. I already like them.
.
Not to project sexism, but again, women seem to have something against that. Their standards are always changing and evolving and 6 months apart, the right man can suddenly not be. God alone knows how that works.
.
She was a baby. A baby like you. She didn't take me seriously. She wanted to believe I was better than I claimed, or that should could change me. She was very, very wise for her age. Credit is due, but still sheltered, still lived at home, doesnt really know how hard life can be. It is what it is.

Very tragic.
.
Marijuana isn't a hallucinogen! Though I get what you mean with the general fondness for drugs. And very very interesting to hear - the fentanyl thing is going down here too. Must be the Hells Angel's distributing the same contaminated crap here and there.

Well it's good you guys are getting along at that level at any rate haha
'
What can I say - cannibalism was never a strong fetish of mine <.< or what's the other one... vore?
'
That actually surprises me a little just because you seem to end up in a lot of wild scenarios. And I guess I just assumed you'd be someone who would PREFER to be in a relationship, but if sex was offered by someone you were interested in you wouldn't say no. Haha the movies Aimed at most women have been saying relationship>one-night-stand for years :P
'
Eh you never know. But tbh I really am just a very private person as well in some regards. Also, not all of my puns are bad, you just won't admit to liking one or two.
'
That must be how women end up with so many cats

Ehh sort of. Idk. I can't really say how I am.
I'll give an example I guess, though it's an odd one and I'm not sure it works.
'
I have a friend who talks hypotheticals a lot, sometimes extreme situations. Idr the exact conversation but basically it somehow came around to him saying if he were all powerful or something, among other things he'd pretty much kill every race he didn't like, and lock me in a jar (I can't remember the reasoning behind that other than I think to keep me safe but also part of his life)
'
I know he gets extremely pissed off when dealing with ignorant people, and sadly a lot of people that are horrendously rude to him are specific races. So when he gets angry he tends to make generalizations. Which I also know.
'
And I know that a) he's aware of this and I can usually talk him down from that, and b) he puts a lot of weight in my opinion etc and doesn't actually *want* to put me in a situation that makes me unhappy

Plus he does try and be a decent human, regardless of peoples' races-- even the ones he vents about.
'
So while he has said those are things he would do, and it's possible he could, I have reason to believe that he wouldn't actually be that terrible, or at the very least he could be reasoned with.
'
That's more what I mean when I say I tend to believe people will be better than they say they'll be. And I also make it quite clear where *I* stand about everything. So it works both ways. I've told them I can't abide puppy-slaughter in my life, so if they go out slaughtering puppies after that, don't expect me to stick around.
'
I'm decently tired so hopefully that warped little story made sense.

I'm not sure why high standards are a bad thing, within reason. Most people seem to have unfailingly low standards. Like "I want her/him to look like a model and drink whiskey and like dogs." And then they wonder why their relationships with the gym-obsessed alcoholic with ten thousand issues they never accounted for doesn't work out
'
It could be. Ive never dated a woman. I think my standards stay fairly consistant personally, but I won't deny sometimes getting genuinely oversensitive one month over something I didn't give 2 shits about the month before. I have seen men pull similar things, mind you
'
How am I a baby <.<
'
I have no real idea where they're getting the fentanyl from, I just know every few months the news comes on to remind us how big a tragedy it is

We're definitely getting along.
.
A PUSSY-VORE! That would be my religion, and my diet if it was sustainable. Delicious, flavourful, juicy, fresh.. I would go so far as to say nutritious, but I don't know that that's true. Back in the high school locker rooms, I would tell my friends that if they pulled me off a deserted island after 3 weeks without food and water, and they offered me a banquet table overloaded with my favourite foods, or the 'fresh fruit' - well, they already knew my choice. And what a fulfilling way to go too.
.
Not as many wild scenarios as I would like, but they're coming soon. I'll keep you posted.
And noooo... not if I'm with someone. Technically I'm a demi-sexual, so if I am with someone, the implication is I like them 'that much' and loyalty is guaranteed on principle alone. But even more importantly, I just wouldn't be interested in someone else. If I like a girl enough...

So you won't believe it, but I was at work typing my response to the 2nd half (for the 2nd time) when my boss brought me into the boardroom and fired me.
.
So...

If I like a girl enough.. I wouldn't even be interested in other girls. Seriously, even in the realm or casual sex, I keep it to 1 girl at a time. My eyes are bigger than my stomach, and objectively I love the idea of having 7 girls kn the go.. but I literally can't. It's just not in me.. if I'm single however? Absolutely. When, where, and how rough does she like it? ;)
.
I know it would do no harm for you to reveal just the CITY. I mean short of it being like Drumheller with a population of 11.4 people, I know there's no risk, but I respect your choices. And yes mama-bear, I will be-grudgingly admit you spit out a half-decent pun from time to time... accompanied by hundreds of terrible ones!
.
Its interesting that both men and women spend their lives in the pursuit of cats. Just different kinds of cats. I wonder what's so special about Cattos.

Yeah.. I dont even know where that story came from. I assume it was in some way analogous to me? Also, keeping you in a jar sounds like fun. Would it be fair to assume you're either dating this guy, or is he so deep in the friend-zone you're unlikely to ever let him out?
.
Respectfully, and I really do mean this respectfully, women are just batshit crazy. I think that as a mature adult Male, you have to just accept that fact and move on. It seems hard-wired into you (as in women) so it's not really your fault. At the same time, its obviously very frustrating. I'm not saying men dont suddenly change their mind, but it fundamental to men is that if you prove, and they really do share and tell the truth, there'll be a logical reason for why. Women often dont have that.. and that's what's always blown my mind. Womens mind just change... and even they dont know why. Its wild. But it does make relationships incredibly difficult.
.
My mind is the most logical /16 personality types

...logical to the point of mechanical. So I often just can't get past the crazy mood-swings. As I've gotten older, and less tolerant (plus guys generally date younger girls) I've become less accepting of that crap. I'm at a point where, on one side I know that to have a relationship with a woman comes with a lot of magical happiness, but you have to put up with all the crazy. The other side is, just use women sociopathically for sex, and ignore their feelings. The problem is, I'm actually a warm, affectionate guy towards the girls I like. I can't treat them poorly, and I'm a demisexual so I wont even enjoy myself unless i let myself get close to them... but then my safety systems kick in and scream about NOT getting close to them. All in all it's quite fucked up and I very confused.
.
Its interesting you can't abide puppy-slaughtler but you'll let me drown kittens and add to your account of evil, instead of telling me how old you are >.>

I think you may be oversimplifying. I think we all have our list of preferences, and in a perfect world we imagine what our perfect partners would be like. We project our preferences, but outside of that I think there are unspoken requirements. I want my future partner to be intelligent, fit, ambitious.. but just because I'm not specifying doesnt mean I would find her cocaine addiction agreeable.
.
Hahahahaha I wasn't calling you a baby- but based on your response, now I am. I just meant, she was like you, AND she was a baby. I was talking about my ex, but now it almost seems mean to exclude you. You are a baby mama-bear.
.
And yeah, the fentanyl thing is fucked. Cut your drugs if you must but use something non-lethal.

See now since we went from cannibalism and vore, I'm having some extremely unpleasant imagery when it comes to "eating pussy"
'
Haha it sounds like you've had your share at any rate. Demi-sexual? I haven't kept up with all the sexuality lingo. But I can sort of see where you're coming from. It does sound like it would put a damper in the whole "army-of-pregnant females" fantasy though
'
Your former boss, right? That's some hell of a weird timing :s I guess it's good you were already planning on moving on anyway, though
'
I knew you secretly loved my puns <.< resistance is futile-- they always get you in the end
'
Welllll sometimes it's the same type of cat. I have no idea why men so ardently pursue their kind, however. I imagine it largely is the fault of testosterone once again

Haha some are. And considering how unstable female hormones are it's hard to blame them entirely. My experience has been most of the women I know usually have a reason for being upset about something... but after the 7th time of explaining a behaviour is bothering them, they expect the guy to show some initiative. Hence we end up with the "you okay?" "I'm FINE." Shtick. Which doesn't really get anyone anywhere. Is it possible you might just be attracted to women who have this batshit crazy impulsiveness? I get that though. And when you get that invested in people it makes it even more difficult to want to take that plunge.
'
Maybe I like puppies better than kittens?
'
I was oversimplifying to make a point haha. I've seen countless people who literally Lose their minds because they find someone's body attractive and they want to fuck them so bad and there's nothing wrong with wanting an attractive partner, but if that's your main criteria and you ignore everything else you're pretty...

... much guaranteeing you'll end up in a toxic relationship. I'm not saying you have to TELL the person your requirements necessarily, but you can't just ignore that they exist. You have to have standards for a relationship to work
'
Oh I see <.< well that makes more sense then. I'm fine being excluded from that >.>

Oh I somehow missed that but in regards to the story my point was I don't so much blindly believe people will be better than they are if you just hope and guilt trip them long enough. But I have found that a lot of people can and will be better than they claim they will.
'
As for the friendzone thing I guess you could call it that if you want to. This is going to probably come off as conceited but I've had issues where almost any male I've spent a decent amount of time with online (I met this friend online) usually ends up developing some sort of feelings for me. Whatever the reason behind it, I made it very clear when we first met (and several times after) I wasn't interested in more than friendship. He did admit at one point he would go for more than that if I wanted. But the jar thing was partially a joke having to do with fairies being kept in bell jars (which I don't remember anymore). It also just stemmed from him being in a situation where, like you, he doesn't have very many

...People he trusts in life that stick around for any length of time, and not wanting to lose that.
'
Admittedly it's a weird example but my brain isn't really working well right now (if it ever is). It probably sounds very dysfunctional out of context but eh. Far from the worst/most extreme thing someone's said to me