"Pringles has got to be the laziest company ever. I think Pringles was supposed to be a tennis ball company. But there was a mix up and they got potatoes instead and they said fuck it, cut'em up."
My favorite one, being a hotel employee: "I met a girl who works at the Double Tree front desk, she gave me her phone number. It's zero. I tried to call her from here and some other woman answered. I said: "You sound older!"
I bet she pinches excellent loaves.