With spring upon us, here is some advice for our beloved mallard

What is this Spring you speak of? It snowed here today :(

Typical entitled American bird, trying to scam our social welfare programs...

Halved grapes? Aint nobody got time fo dat

Aren't ducks in Canada are like swans in England, they are precious

Don't feed ducks at all.

But then why do they still eat it?

That cute "duck walk" comes from bread fucking up a ducks nervous system. That's why when you go to a zoo they have little vending machines full of feed and not loaves of bread.

Once I was swarmed with ducks because I had bread (they weren't attacking me for it, they waited eagerly) and when I first tried to feed one by hand I was nervous and accidentally moved my hand so that the duck bit my finger by accident. Duck mouths feel weird...

Fuck you, bread is all you're getting for your shitty advice.