I'm much more awkward than I appear

Young woman is a perfectly normal, modern-day description.

Maybe "big booty hoe" is more up your street?

So you would rather use a term that makes you an unsophisticated simpleton? Try chick, "hoe", babe, etc. Perhaps even expand your vocabulary and use demeaning words, sounds like you may be into that. Are you thinking "whore", "bitches", "trollop", "Swamp donkey". There, now you can take your pick and be whatever level of douche you may desire to be.

That escalated quickly.

He is Wrath.

Totally adding swamp donkey to my vocabulary.

That one is often underused, and one does not even need to know what it means to realize it is an insult.

Some people also say lady. Not necessarily young woman.