"Babe, does this dress make me look fat?"

Only a few will dare

Just say, "Of course it doesn't make you look fat, but I have seen you in outfits that show off your figure better."

My families favorite response to this is "no, your fat makes you look fat."
Were all kinda horrible people.

Just run to the right, then jump and crouch at the same time so that the mace goes under you.
That was pretty simple.