What would your reason be?

I masturbated once every three days. Exact to the hour.

I sacrificed virginal squirrels to Satan at 3:02 every Wednesday morning and afternoon.

The pine cone might cleanse your colon?

Here's one: Every morning, after drinking eight glasses of water in a row, I watched fourty-seven episodes of SpongeBob SquarePants and stapled my ballsack to the floor.

I meditated on the used toilet with shit in it while eating bananas and its peel in every bite. if you cough gag or break your meditation you must start over

Because I ran from murderous children
In the sense that they ripped me apart

I listened to Bieber everyday

Hate to break it to y'all, but if you eat too many pinecones it may cause "Intestinal distress" if you catch my drift