Big brothers

On the flip side my older sister always scared me.

On the other hand, if anyone but us messes with our brothers we're the first ones in with Abrams and Challenger tanks ready to blow them to Uranus and back.
Usually
I'm sorry if you have a genuinely asshole brother who genuinely wishes you weren't alive.

I'm an older brother to four sisters, and I've never done anything like that to them

My brother waited until I was on the phone today with the optometrist's office, and then came into the room to fart loudly. About a minute later he came back to burp.

My older brother was trying to teach me how to ride a bike but he let go too soon and I fell on a plant full of thorns.

I once took my younger sister (I was then about 10 or 11 and she was 2), put her in the trash can and closed the lid.
Dear sister, I'm sorry.

When I was little my older brother climbed a tree in the back yard and made a pendulum out of a brick and some rope. Told me to stand under the tree and me being the trusting little sister did. I ended up being knocked out and he was couldn't sit for about a week.

My older sister can be protective too! Once she took me to the playground, but a storm came, and i was afraid of the thunder and started crying (i was about 6 years old) and the other kids mocked me, but my sister yelled at them (something like ‘dont you dare mock my little sister‘) and they shut the hell up. My sister was and will always be a badass :D

When i Was little, My brother use to make me eat grass.... and Train his boxing lessons on me

My brother threw me into the couch and I hit my head on a wood panel and I blacked out....

I am the older brother with the privledge of being a senior my sister's freshman year.

My brother locked me in the dog crate and sprayed me with water while I was in there

my brother is half the first paragraph and half not-as-mean-as-the-others-but-you-get-the-point

My brother shot me with a staple gun

My older sister recently threw a banana at me and it it exploded. There was goopy banana everywhere. The floor, the wall, my face.

My brother used to shut off the main power in the house and make me watch while he tortured my favorite my little pony doll. He also used to throw knives at me and my sister used to steal all of my pants and lock me outside.

I'm feel bad for you...

I have an older brother who threw those old metal Matchbox cars at my face when I was a baby, resulting in 3 large scars. Also, when learning to walk, he pushed me down precisely when the adults weren't looking.

My older brother don't use common sense

My older brother forced me to watch "A Nightmare On Elm Street" and Stephen King's "IT" (and so many other horror movies)....I was 6.....

When I was six (I'm the older) I hit my brother in the eye with a stick. Recently I threw a shovel at him, split his lip open.