How to answer the phone

I put on a super thick cockney accent and say:
"Allo Rory's Pub! Tonight's specials'r Pinky and Perky, Loop-de-Loop, Bangers-n-Mash and a Dog's Eye, they all come wif Uncle Fred and Johnny Rutter and they're all Robin Hood.
State yer order~"
And they always hang up immediately.
A lot of annoying spammers no longer call me.

This was pretty much my Dad's phone answering technique through the nineties.

"Herbert's abortion clinic, no fetus can beat us! how may I help you?"

My 90 SOMETHING GREAT GRANDFATHER ANSWERED THE PHONE"Duffy's Tavern, Duffy ain't here, his old lady killed him" AND THEN THE NEXT DAY HE ANSWERED IT "Duffy's Tavern, he's back now!"

YES

Daves sperms bank, u spank it and we'll bank it!

daves circumsions , you flop em, we chop em'