I think slapping your children is fine, as long as you have a valid reason. If you're just abusing your children I don't think that will make them grow up like the person you wanted them to be.
It's still a person's choice whether he/she will slap his/her children or not, and respect is not a direct consequence of having been slapped as a kid. I have only been slapped once and everything goes fine for me, I help grannies cross the road, I am courteous towards people... I am personally opposed to slapping children, but I get that people aren't. Just remember that it's not a universal solution, that the punishment must always be proportional to the crime, and that children are often annoying because they are desperately needing attention and comfort.
Children are not property, they are people-with basic human rights-just like adults. There are ways to teach/protect/manage a child without hurting them. If parents learn the techniques, are offered help when needed, and given the knowledge to manage different situations, physical harm does not need to be done to children.
I notice the comments mention slapping but the post is about spanking. Spanking is a form of corporal punishment consisting of striking the buttocks of another person to cause temporary pain. This is very important. Spanking your child leads them to associate a very specific punishment / pain to doing something wrong. You'd have to really try to really hurt someone by spanking them with your hand. You don't have to try too hard to really hurt someone by slapping them. I think this distinction is extremely important when disciplining a child.
My parents have never laid a hand on me but I still respect people. Straight A student who volunteers and owns her own business over here! How? My parents talked to me about what I did wrong and we decided on ways to do better next time
That's because some parents don't actually parent, regardless of whether they spank their kid or not. Spanking is not the deciding factor. It doesn't REQUIRE physical pain to discipline your child.
"I retain my own opinion despite actual evidence to the contrary" *thumbs up* Children respect people if their parents teach them to have respect, and if those parents have respect. There is no correlation, not even a logical one, between spanking and respect. There is a logical relation between hitting your child and fear, and I'm not saying that spanking = hitting, but it's not far off. My mom certainly didn't know the difference, I was so scared of her I didn't tell her when I electrocuted myself when I was 5 years old. I was afraid to order the sandwich I actually wanted around her from Subway when I was 17 because she had informed me five years prior that "pepperoni isn't a real sandwich". No, not every parent who spanks is going to be like that, but it's still unnecessary physical punishment that provides a shortcut to actual parenting.
You electrocuted yourself when you were 5... Why are you still typing?? Anyway, I was *spanked* when I was a child (we have a better term in my 1st language) and I completely support my parents and love them. You clearly don't see the difference between that and child abuse.
I /do/ see the difference, but spanking is still corporal punishment, and in children it still evokes a fear response. You realize there are people who get struck by lightning and survive? I shocked myself with a plug and an outlet, and I fell off the counter before any serious damage could be done, thereby removing me from the circuit. There is a huge difference between beating a child up, and slapping them for punishment, and spanking as a form of punishment, but not everyone SEES that difference. My mother didn't, and she saw nothing wrong with how she treated me until years later. It's especially hard for children to know the difference, and many children (myself included, when I was young) can't tell the difference between how they're treated and what's normal. And frankly, I was not treated that badly. I never got scars, or even really bruises, and I still turned out that way.
I reffered to electrcuted. That means that you have shocked yourself to death. I don't know what your mother did, maybe it was child abuse, maybe you just couldn't take a slap on your butt when you did something wrong.
"Electrocute: to injure or kill someone by electric shock." Not necessarily death, thanks. And that would depend on where you draw the line on child abuse. I don't consider it child abuse, but it also wasn't just a slap on my butt. Either way, is it really worth the risk of ruining your relationship with your kid, when clearly there are other ways to handle children?
If you go and sit down and tell them very nicely not to throw the TV in the pool again THEY WILL FUCK UP BIG TIME. Okay, is that clear enough? I would have been such a failure if it wasn't for my parents who gave me a hiding now and then.
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· 9 years ago
Can I just say something? My father used to spank me for everything that went wrong in the house. I never, EVER did anything like throw the TV in the pool. I literally just stood up for myself if my brother, who's 2 and a half years older than me and has been a competitive athlete since the age of 7 (so he's pretty damn strong) hit me or tackled me or tried to hurt me. If a pot broke, it was immediately my fault, even if I was in the garden at the time.
I get that a lot of kids are complete brats and don't seem to get the message no matter what you do, and also have parents that are a lot more rational than mine, but I think the point is that parents often just try to hit their children for the most idiotic reasons without hearing what actually happened. You don't need to ask your child nicely, but a punishment that isn't physical would honestly make more sense if the child is old enough to be capable of understanding why they're being punished.
There are more options than telling them very nicely to not do something that big a deal and slapping their butt every time they do something remotely wrong. If your child is throwing a tv in the pool, I think the cause is already lost and there's not much you can do at that point, even with physical punishment. If you are a permissive parent, there is NOTHING that you can do to change them once they get used to that, because they will NEVER take you seriously. You have to set out rules and limits and then they won't do stupid shit like that. If they do, there needs to be much more relevant and long-term punishment than a few swats on the bum.
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· 9 years ago
In my opinion, you should only ever spank your child if they've repeatedly done something life threatening, like run in front of a car, because most of the time it'll make them realise the reality of the situation.
Spanking and slapping, there's a big difference. Here in the south, we whoop their butts. Not so much as our parents did though. We were talking recently, our kids don't know what a whooping is compared to us. When we were kids, mama had a paddle, that thing hurt! My parents used the paddle, the belt, there was go find your own switch, you don't want mama to pick one, trust me. When all else fails, use the correction device conveniently located at the end,of each arm, your hand. It's ok to use weapons of ass destruction, as Bernie Mac used to call them. I turned out just fine, so did my sisters. :-)
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· 9 years ago
You also have repost syndrome
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· 9 years ago
Nobody. Cares.
It's an internet site. Things are going to be reposted. Seriously. Stop,
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· 9 years ago
The thing about having opinions on this matter is that the opinions need to be supported by fact, and not anecdotal evidence. To have a blind opinion on anything at all, really, is to remain closed minded about a subject. (This was aimed at everyone, not any specific person).
The other issue is most parents don't see the difference between spanking or punishment and child abuse - where do you draw the line? Burning? Stabbing with a needle? Breaking bones?
It's actually been proven that children who have been regularly spanked are more likely to have behavioural issues, become antisocial (not asocial, there's a difference), develop anxiety disorders, depression, or abuse their children or significant others later in life. http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx
Pretty much, the kids end up learning that you should hurt people if they do something wrong rather than figuring out WHY they did it wrong and punishing them appropriately. As I said before, I think (cont.)
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Edited 9 years ago
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· 9 years ago
Spanking children if they've done something that could have caused and injury or been life threatening is okay, but regular spanking for things like arguing with a sibling over who gets the last cookie? There are much better resolutions, like just breaking the cookie in half.
Another source: http://healthland.time.com/2011/06/28/would-you-record-yourself-spanking-your-kids/
Better examples for where to draw the line: if you can't reach a kid's butt, why not smack them upside the head? There are some parents who handle spanking well, and do explain things, but the VAST MAJORITY do not. They simply swat at their children, and don't talk to them about what happened or why, or what they did wrong. They think of punishment as the only part of discipline, and it's not. In order to truly make it effective, you have to make sure your children understand, no matter what method you're using. You have to have a set punishment for certain actions, and carry out that punishment, and your children have to understand that from the moment the punishment is set to the moment they become adults. Otherwise, it's going to be ineffective, whether you spank them or ground them.
I get that a lot of kids are complete brats and don't seem to get the message no matter what you do, and also have parents that are a lot more rational than mine, but I think the point is that parents often just try to hit their children for the most idiotic reasons without hearing what actually happened. You don't need to ask your child nicely, but a punishment that isn't physical would honestly make more sense if the child is old enough to be capable of understanding why they're being punished.
It's an internet site. Things are going to be reposted. Seriously. Stop,
The other issue is most parents don't see the difference between spanking or punishment and child abuse - where do you draw the line? Burning? Stabbing with a needle? Breaking bones?
It's actually been proven that children who have been regularly spanked are more likely to have behavioural issues, become antisocial (not asocial, there's a difference), develop anxiety disorders, depression, or abuse their children or significant others later in life. http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx
Pretty much, the kids end up learning that you should hurt people if they do something wrong rather than figuring out WHY they did it wrong and punishing them appropriately. As I said before, I think (cont.)
Another source: http://healthland.time.com/2011/06/28/would-you-record-yourself-spanking-your-kids/