I know I'll probs get down voted but, if you're planning on committing suicide, you most likely feel pretty bad about yourself so I doubt they'd be able to think of things to like about themselves. A lot of that stuff is actually pretty hard to think of when you're feeling so low. I appreciate what this person is trying to do, but filling your head up with rainbows and butterflies doesn't work.
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· 9 years ago
What I'm finding helps me now is knowing that it won't always be this way. This too shall pass. I've been majorly depressed a few times in my life (including moderate depression now) and I've found that sometimes I just have to fight for myself. I have to fight to feel love and fight to hang on because I know it will get better and if it doesn't seem that way then I'll make it better myself. I'm pretty stubborn and I've survived this long so I refuse to go out early now, no matter what it takes. I'm taking anti-depressants and going to therapy too. I guess I'm just saying all this to let you all know there is no shame in asking for help when you're literally fighting for your life. There are a lot of people out there who will fight for you too, myself included.
I know that feel. I just randomly started crying last night because I felt like shit. Just know you're awesome! I wish I had kik so I could talk to you more.
I just reread it and now I'm crying harder and I really really hope that Darkanhell doesn't see any of these comments because if he knew I wrote a letter he'd kill me and just oh my god.
And we even talked in December. We weren't dating or anything but we were friends. And if he knew that I was that close when he could have maybe done something... ugh.
Yeah.. :(
I just. I can't hurt him. I wont. I cant.
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· 9 years ago
I-I really just admire how you always put others above yourself, and how you always bounce back when you're hit. You really don't know how many of us are terrified whenever you make another post about depression or suicide. And even if Darkanhell was mad, he'd probably just try to help NOW. Depression isn't your fault. Don't leave us, both of you, because you're an invaluable part of FS and we wouldn't be able to cope.
M-me? But I don't do much of anything. Like... ever.
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· 9 years ago
Oh child. You've suffered so much, and yet you've still pulled through. That alone is enough. And if you look a little closer, you'll see just how much you can do.
Thank you. But I mean, so many people have it so much worse. My issues really aren't that bad, and I just... need to get over it. ._.
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· 9 years ago
No. No. Don't you dare say that. I came close too, a few times, and i faced NOTHING close to what you did. Even though others have suffered more, that does not in the slightest change how much you have to carry. Remember so many people didn't have a *fraction* of the amount of things you've gone through. Stay strong, my child.
It's okay. But in response to your comment... I do feel like there's a lot of things that I should just move in from but I cant. And trying to be strong is hard when the weight gets added onto like every other day. Idk. I don't really feel worth the trouble I put people through.
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Edited 9 years ago
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· 9 years ago
The fact you managed to get through any of it is absolutely incredible. Never forget that.
I guess.. I feel like you know a little bit. What /do/ you know?
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· 9 years ago
Me? Well, I accept I've already gone so far, so i have to have the strength to deal with it. And then I make a list of all the things I'm happy I have. And then I make a flow chart mentally of how to solve my problems.
I had my whole suicide planned about this time last year. If my mom didn't find out I know I wouldn't be here today... This is true... It's hard to see sometimes but there are amazing things in the future. It's still a struggle and somedays I go backwards but slowly I am recovering and starting to live again.
I've done the same thing. When I was 22 I just decided it was time to check out. I quit my job and boxed up everything in my apartment. The night I did it, my mom came to visit me and literally would not take no for an answer. She was at my door talking to me on the phone and I was trying to convince her that I didn't feel good and that I'd just go see her later. I was bleeding out on my apartment floor.
Anywho, I said all this to say that things literally don't stay this way. I'm 28 now, engaged, enrolled in college. I never thought I would be this happy and to think I almost missed it
I just. I can't hurt him. I wont. I cant.
Anywho, I said all this to say that things literally don't stay this way. I'm 28 now, engaged, enrolled in college. I never thought I would be this happy and to think I almost missed it