Imma try this when I get child
Child: there's a monster outside the door!
Me: yes. He's helping clean up with the outside
Person outside: This is the police! Come up with your hands up and hand the child you stole over to us!
Other situations
Child: there's a monster in my closet!
Me: "Yes. She loves the smell of the laundry detergent I use, and she's busy trying to organize your shoes."
Person: 'it smells delightful in here'
Me: what the dick
What do you do?
Child: there's a monster outside the door!
Me: yes. He's helping clean up with the outside
Person outside: This is the police! Come up with your hands up and hand the child you stole over to us!
Child: there's a monster in my closet!
Me: "Yes. She loves the smell of the laundry detergent I use, and she's busy trying to organize your shoes."
Person: 'it smells delightful in here'
Me: what the dick
*zombie taps on my back*
Not now, Benjamin