Well first of all, it's not about wanting sex. It's about actually falling in love with the person. It's when a guy falls for a girl and realizes that he doesn't want anything more than just having her in his life, loving her, and making her happy, but she is only interested in a friendship. At that stage, neither person has done anything wrong, but the friendzone still exists.
From there, it can develop a number of ways. From my personal experience, I've seen it develop where the girl starts taking advantage of the fact that the guy likes her and will do anything for her. And I've also been in the place where I realize that "just being friends" is off the table. Either she needs to be willing to give us a shot, or I need to stop being friends with her because it's tearing me apart.
I'm sure it can develop a number of different ways, but from my experience, the friendzone has always had very little to do with sex.
But if the Internet is referring to the friendzone as just guys wanting sex, then I agree that the concept of the friendzone is stupid.
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· 9 years ago
I know what you mean with having to back off from a friendship for that reason. I've been there too. It sucks! I think that's a better way to look at it than the typical internet version.
I find it kind of selfish to end a friendship because the other person doesn't return your feelings? It's happened to me more than once that I've fallen in love with a friend who didn't reciprocate, but we always kept the friendship going. It's not like either of us could control what we felt or didn't feel for the other, so it wouldn't be fair for me to cut her off just because we wanted different things. Yeah, it hurts like hell at first, but eventually you move on.
I agree in a lot of cases. And I tried for about five years. But I couldn't move on and I just kept falling more and more in love with her. Now, in my case, she was stringing me along and giving me false hope, which obviously wasn't helpful. But I was at the point where I would have married her and eventually I realized (with the help of some friends) that I needed to get away from her in order to move on.
The entire ordeal was one of the worst things I've ever gone through, and because that's what I associate the friendzone with, it really bugs me when people tell guys to stop complaining about the friendzone.
But again, my interpretation could be vastly different than most people.
I agree with thepacifist, I have always assumed it the same way and I would like to address the other guest that, no, it is not selfish; well only partly. But that is because breaking it off with said people is necessary because they are in no case good for your mental well-being. You would ask me why? Because one would always no matter what the case will always hope, and in their little kind gestures, warp our own assumed feelings of love. This will be unfair to them for they will expect us to be friendly not secretly garnering feelings of love. In turn this will result in feelings of frustration, hopelessness, and the likes of these. Also, this will suppress possible feelings towards other people because you will always be stringing along with the other person. I tried putting down my feelings for 7 stupid years as chemicals, even set up the guy's dates. So yeah, stupid it doesn't work.
- Klutzboing.
From there, it can develop a number of ways. From my personal experience, I've seen it develop where the girl starts taking advantage of the fact that the guy likes her and will do anything for her. And I've also been in the place where I realize that "just being friends" is off the table. Either she needs to be willing to give us a shot, or I need to stop being friends with her because it's tearing me apart.
I'm sure it can develop a number of different ways, but from my experience, the friendzone has always had very little to do with sex.
The entire ordeal was one of the worst things I've ever gone through, and because that's what I associate the friendzone with, it really bugs me when people tell guys to stop complaining about the friendzone.
But again, my interpretation could be vastly different than most people.
- Klutzboing.