I married my best friend. We married on our fifth anniversary, and waited several years to have a baby. The time we spent just being a family of two was great, we did what ever we wanted, whenever we wanted. And honestly we weren't sure about having a baby.
My advice is this:
First, don't marry because it's the next step, marry because that's the person you want to experience life with for the rest of your life. Or, if you're religious (we are) do it for that reason first, then the experience part.
Second, kids aren't the next step in a marriage. If they come beforehand that's cool, but if marriage is first then a kid, don't listen to everyone who asks, "you gonna have kids?" Or, "when you gonna start a family?" It's none of their business, and you started a family when you said I do. And when you're both ready have a child, then do it as a team, and as equals. And always communicate with one another.
I agree, me and my girlfriend are like this and she tells me she feels selfish but she doesn't want to have a baby because she's scared I will forget about her. I never really thought about it that way but I can understand where she is coming from.
When i finally get a wife I'm not sure i want kids, maybe because every instance of a relationship with a kid tended to be hard to balance, also I'm not sure if i can/would want, a kid. They seem to cause stress and rather expensive. But at the same time i feel like people are expecting me to carry on the family name, and what of the wife would want one?
Don't worry what everyone else wants. It's not everyone else's relationship: it's yours.
And the kid thing is something to discuss prior to marriage, because it is a huge change and a huge stress. But if you are both willing to work together and be there for one another though the child raising, it makes it a lot easier. For example, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight with my baby beside me (mobile crib) and letting my wife have the bed to sleep through the night. We take overnight turns on who's gonna change/feed the little one. We are a team in everything we do.
My advice is this:
First, don't marry because it's the next step, marry because that's the person you want to experience life with for the rest of your life. Or, if you're religious (we are) do it for that reason first, then the experience part.
Second, kids aren't the next step in a marriage. If they come beforehand that's cool, but if marriage is first then a kid, don't listen to everyone who asks, "you gonna have kids?" Or, "when you gonna start a family?" It's none of their business, and you started a family when you said I do. And when you're both ready have a child, then do it as a team, and as equals. And always communicate with one another.
And the kid thing is something to discuss prior to marriage, because it is a huge change and a huge stress. But if you are both willing to work together and be there for one another though the child raising, it makes it a lot easier. For example, I'm sleeping on the couch tonight with my baby beside me (mobile crib) and letting my wife have the bed to sleep through the night. We take overnight turns on who's gonna change/feed the little one. We are a team in everything we do.