Tell me your best puns in the comments!!:)

Did you hear about the guy who had his whole left side cut off? He's all right now

If you ever get in a wreck while riding your bike down the street remember it's not your fault. It's asphalt.

He loved watching the stars. The meteor had a really big impact on him.

Proper punctuation can make the difference between a sentence that's well-written and a sentence that's, well, written.

My family is so weird, my mom dresses up like my dad and my dad dresses up like my mom.
They're transparent.

Why is this hidden\nsfw, that's punusual

http://i.imgur.com/eoERS.jpg

I was gonna make some gay joke butt fuck it.

I tried to catch some fog but I mist

Broken pencils. There is no point

Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a-salted!

a man walks into a zoo. there is only one animal. the animal is a dog. it's a shih tzu

I was at the park and there were some kids playing with a frisbee. When I looked back I was confused as to why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me.

There was a woman who gave birth to two identical twins. They got adopted before she could name them. One went to Spain and was named Juan. The other went to Egypt and was named Amal. One day the woman received a letter from Juan telling her about his life and including a picture. The woman started crying so her husband asked why she was crying. The woman said that she wished she had a picture of Amal too. The man said "they're identical. Once you've seen Juan you've seen Amal."

I used to be a banker but I lost interest

Ghandi was known for walking around barefoot a lot, so he probably had some pretty rough feet. Also, he didn't eat much and became pretty frail and thin throughout the years. Because of his bad eating habits he also developed a pretty bad case of bad breath. So...Ghandi right...and I'm real sorry about this
But
Ghandi was a...super callused, fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis

What's worse than 10 babies in 1 garbage can?
1 baby in 10 garbage cans.