Someone do something please

I think it's not just that but (at least for me) it's the realization that nothing you do will ever really matter because you're one tiny speck in the universe so this freedom to do anything with your life is kind of pointless because you're aware of not only that fact but also the fact that whatever you choose to do will be your life until you eventually die and if you pick wrong you'll be stuck with that for the rest of your life

Well, I was already depressed. Not sure what to call what I am now.

In the middle of an existential crisis, maybe?

@ruiningtheeffect, you're not stuck with it the rest of your life. It's becoming increasingly common to change careers fairly frequently. So there's one less pressure. :) Also, even though our lives are tiny little specks in the grand scheme of things, we can make a big difference with that speck, not only with what we do with our lives but with the legacy we leave (what our lives inspire others to achieve after us.) Look up George Washington Carver. His research into the peanut plant saved a lot of farmers from starving, not to mention his lead in education for former slaves. His influence changed their lives drastically, and not just theirs but their children's lives too. He also inspired someone (I can't remember his name but he studied under Carver and went on to be secretary of agriculture or something) to further research corn and that research helped stave off a famine in Mexico years later. All that to say, our lives are small, but they're far from insignificant.