In all fairness, I would too.

I HAVE to drink but I still see if I can drink when the cup is higher up than it should be.

Okay you're a smartass
I don't like this
*Nothing (except eating and/or drinking) is fun anymore once you know you HAVE to do it.

I HAVE to live but I still play games and post "hilarious" photos on the internet.

THIS CLOSE TO GIVING UP
*Nothing (except living,eating,and/or drinking) is fun anymore once you know you HAVE to do it.

I HAVE to breath but I still beath heavily to the tune of songs as an attempt to copy the beat.

I
GIVE
UP

Never challenge me to a duel of smartass.

I'll be sure to keep that in mind

I've beaten you bender

For one reason and one reason alone.

How do you even beat a fuckin' rainbow?

The answer is simple you don't