Now, what you do is, if you want to be utterly evil, is you shave your head and face completely clean. Then you shave your junk and buttocks. You come out of the bathroom and say the razor's free, and go about your business. Then work into a conversation how nice it feels to be clean shaven, and slowly insinuate you aren't referring to your head.
But let's pretend that by medieval I meant archaic/older times and not specifically the Middle Ages