You're a harry wizard!

I better not be a fucking muggle
I may not have avada kedavra but I'll still kill a bitch

If a war broke out between muggles and wizards, who do you think would win? I'd bet on muggles.

You're a hairy wizard

That's why Aunt Petunia was such a colossal bitch.

My future kid: *receives letter from Hogwarts*
Me: WELL GOOD FOR YOU
GOOD FOR YOU
YOU KNOW WHAT, GOOD FOR YOU
GOOOODDD FOR YOOOOUUU

Everyone has the potential to be a wizard, but Hogwarts only accept those who meet their expectations.