She doesn't believe

Sorry man. My friend lost his fiancé, it sucks.

Give him my condolences. It sucks losing someone. Not that I have but just saying.

Shit, I thought you said you had a dead girlfriend. I'm here amazed at how well you're coping!

She's imaginary

I mean it was a very tragic sort of death for all those involved not really because I broke up with her at her funeral

This is a strange conversation

Have I never told this story to y'all? I feel like I have.
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Once upon a time, I had a girlfriend. She was the most beautiful, kind, and funny woman you could ever meet. An angel, a gift, a blessing to everyone she met, and by God's kindness and grace, she chose me as her boyfriend. She excelled in everything she put her hands and mind to, except for driving. She could not drive worth a damn, and hell if I know how she passed the test to get her license. In all honesty, I just didn't feel safe around her at all so I wanted to break up with her so she wouldn't kill us both but I did love her as a friend.
One day, I received a text that she T-boned a cement truck and was in critical condition. I scooted as fast (and safely) as I could to the hospital where I arrived just in time to tell her goodbye.

But I forgot to tell her I was breaking up because of the accident, so during her funeral, when it was my turn to speak the speech or whatever, I went up, said my piece, and then knelt beside her and announced I was breaking up with her because I didn't feel safe around her, but that I hoped we could still be friends.

I was also deported to Canada once accidentally. Completely unrelated story.

That's a sad story.