How to start an essay

And the thing is, this technically should work in an academic environment because it's probably the best hook you could write but it really doesn't because it's not professional which is bullshit because this hook is way better than anything a professional could write.

For a second, I thought it was going to be an Epic Meal Time version of the Fresh Prince theme.

No, don't do this. I tried it once to motivate me to write my paper and sure enough it got the creative juices flowing and all was well... until I was sitting waiting for class to start with my printed paper and realized I had forgotten to delete it.