Stupid criminals

Jesus, was this guy going for the high score?

I had a 17 year old probationee that stole her aunts car, crashed it into a tree, then proceeded to try and drive it home. She was pulled over by local PD that knew she wasn't licenced and on my caseload for felonies. She had 4 other juveniles in the car, they scattered, and she ran/hid in a wooded area. There were open 40's, blunt guts, a full .44 caliber magazine and various drugs all over the interior. I was already on my way to detain her on an ankle monitor violation (she let it die), when PD called. GPS monitors will still put out coordinates on an interval if the main battery is dead. I followed the GPS to her, where she proceeded to try to tell me that she wasn't my probationee, just an illusion, etc...because she was so drunk and xanex high that she thought it would work. Once in the PD van, she broke out the back window and tried to run, screaming that she was a 30 year old woman and was being kidnapped. I had to hit her with an additional 6 felonies. She tried.