Burnt

I want to learn D&D too!

Man. Tell her we're going to do our science project or something!

Yeah a science project...like for biology ;)

LABEL ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR FRENCH GIRLS.

Rub your hands all over my *rolls a 20*

*stops unzipping jacket* on second thought

You rolled a 2. It is ineffective ;)

I take off both of your pants
*rolls 2 20s*
Shit
*rips off your dicks too*

OW

......you guys are doing it wrong....

I try to give you a high five...
*rolls a 2*
But I end up accidentally punching you in the face full force. Your nose is broken, you have a black eye, and a bruise in the shape of Texas of your left cheek.

I roll to apologize...
*rolls a 1*
But I stutter my words and merge, "I so sorry!" and, "Oh fuck, are you okay!?" Coming up with the resulting, "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?"

I roll to laugh...
*rolls 00*
I fall off of my chair laughing, land on a penis and I am now pregnant with whomever lost a penis by my chair...*
I roll to take birth control...
*roll a 69*
I accidentally took a viagra and spend the night in bed alone...

@shrekislove_ this here is the cheating part!! I'm supposed to fall pregnant first!

@thenewlazybones I don't know who it belongs to, it's just extremely long... And strong... And down to get the friction on

Not mine then, yay I didn't cheat on my girlfriend