my roomie and i are getting matching ones

Where can I get one of those sexy things?

Belovedshirts.com has a lot of crew necks like this

Reminds me of "God of the internet"

Ew, no.

Can you say 40 year old virgen sweater

I believe you mean "perfect sweater for your CHILD'S first date"

I know what I'm going to make my future son wear on his first date. Paired with his crocs knee high socks and a visor