Cruel irony

Ignore it! They aren't coming after you for that

Use your first delay option!

You can say you're unavailable due to being out of town

When a person is called for jury duty in the United States, that service is mandatory and the person summoned for jury duty must attend. Failing to report for jury duty is not technically illegal and usually results in an individual simply being placed back into the selection pool to be called for another trial. However repeatedly ignoring a jury summons without explanation will result in strict penalties, which may include being fined or jailed for contempt of court.[14] Employers are not allowed to fire an employee for being called to jury duty, but they are typically not required to pay salaries during this time.[14] When attended, potential jurors may be asked to serve as a juror in a trial, or they may be dismissed

Just tell them you hate niggers.

You can get out of it with the vacation plans

You can also get out of it by claiming hardship. (You can't financially afford to miss work) Not sure if they require proof of that though.