It's rather an oxymoron isn't it? Take this example of Fred, Steve, and Dave. All need more money. All have been putting their best appearances and efforts forward. All have a good image and are seen as good people. Fred goes to the boss and says he would like more responsibility, and expresses interest in moving up in the company. Fred is seen as a good, nice guy and May get his shot. Dave goes to the boss and says "Make me a VP bitch. I deserve it." Dave is asking for a lot at once, and maybe it could work, but generally is offputting. Worse, Dave wasn't very nice there and now looks unstable and less desirable in any regard. Steve- well he doesn't do either. He works away at his desk quietly waiting for someone to give him what he wants because he's showed up and contributed. He feels due but won't ask. He grows bitter and one day may even snap in a way that makes the "Dave" incident look tame. Be a Fred. You can ask for what you want and still be nice.
And it's likely that none of them will get what they want in the end, and it's best to accept that you're likely not going to get your shot before you actually ask.
That's what's called a self fulfilling prophecy. This may not be your shot, but if you look at every shot and decide it's not yours none of them likely will be. You can sit around being a Steve if you like, people like Steve. He does things for them and doesn't ask for anything. In fact the only person who's life Steve doesn't make better is.... Steve's. But you know, if you accept the fact that failure is just a part of life, that you will fail and that's ok- then you can get back to trying. It's possible life will just drop things in your lap, but I wouldn't rely on it. We each have from the day we are born to the day we leave this world to try and find hapiness, to try and do better. You didn't get a say in being born and no one gets to opt out of death, so that space in between- you're here wether you want to be or not, might as well try to make the most of it.
Well obviously, they're nice because they like you and want to have sex with you. Are they just as nice with fat chicks with bad skin? No? Well there you have it. Don't act like you didn't get what he wanted.
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Edited 6 years ago
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· 6 years ago
If they really were nice guys they'd not expect sex from you just for having the human decency of being nice to another human being with boobs. :/
Ted Bundy was a nice guy (good looking, polite and charming by most accounts) and expected sex for being nice too and he ended up being a batshit murdery rapist.
TL;DR: just because you're being nice doesn't mean that's an invitation to have a sausage party in my vag.
@walterr- I don't know where to start. Perhaps with "obviously." It may surprise you many friends routinely pay checks, buy each other gifts, open doors, listen to each other in depth and more. Being a friend is different to different people, those with more money and more generous may be more giving than others. So just by being "extra nice" you show nothing. Even if it's to one person you may like them more or know they need it, or see them being nice to others and want to return it. Obvious making a move, obvious is saying something. A real friend can't be friend zoned because they care for you as a person and not as a potential date/lay. If turned down they leave or go back to a friend. Are women to assume all nice men want sex? Don't put the responsibility on a woman that a man was too meek to make his feelings open. If you don't get what you want but stay you're either truly happy as things are or you are spineless and that's on you not them.
The imgur post of the relevant part of my link for those not interested in reddit comments.
Ted Bundy was a nice guy (good looking, polite and charming by most accounts) and expected sex for being nice too and he ended up being a batshit murdery rapist.
TL;DR: just because you're being nice doesn't mean that's an invitation to have a sausage party in my vag.