DaFuQ? Just do your business and wipe.
And don't start some conversation about balling up paper vs flat wipe.
I'm too busy not peeing under the lid to catch my poop.
Okay that's crazy, but if I'm at my crush's place or somewhere public and it's quiet outside the bathroom, I'll float a couple squares of tp on the water before I sit. It's a super effective mute button.
It already feels like anal trying to wipe sitting down
And don't start some conversation about balling up paper vs flat wipe.
I'm too busy not peeing under the lid to catch my poop.