Error: Title machine broke

Because you're dust now.

You're terrible at sexting

No shit, mainly because I don't just like men, I don't like you either.

I don't see what not liking men has to do with you and me being together

I also don't like your face, nor your personality, not to mention I love someone already.

I look a lot different, I have many personalities, and we can arrange an accident

I would honestly tear you limb from limb and feed your remains to a hyena.

Aww, I love it when you send cute messages like that! Also, I totally got your hint about wanting a puppy. I'll see what I can do ;)

No dude, seriously.

Wrong

We can still be together though. I told my dearest what you said, and she thinks that it's true love!

Your dearest is a dipshit.

Nah. She's pretty cool.

Maybe she is, but cool people can be stupid.

She's pretty open minded. She wouldn't mind a poly relationship.

I would.

If it means being with you, then it can just be the two of us. As long as you're with me, I don't care.

I'd rather be alone.

I'd rather be alone with you too!

Judging by your likes, I'm much too vanilla for you.

Aww, I learned from Michael Jackson that even the most vanilla people have a dark side.

Not particularly in my case.