I once wrote a book called "The Little Plastic Man"... it was a kind of Pinocchio story but I swear to god the first three sentences makes it sound like a runaway dildo. I tried looking for the hard copy, but all I found was my two other kids books I wrote that were technically published; "The Alien, Dragon and Shark" and "Danger in the Deep". The latter is about aquanaut Hank Hydro and his fight against the Hydra from Disney's Hercules as it tries to murder everyone in this yellow underwater lab.... I also dedicated it to Ginger Spice. Seriously. 3rd grade crush yo.
"The Alien, Dragon and Shark" is about the aforementioned becoming friends and fighting a war with martians... while... apparently as I put it, "they flew around". Seriously, the second page (er like 4th page?) is a picture of them killing martians on the left and then on the right the story is "They saw a martian. They killed it. All three of them flew around.". Somehow page 3 has a detour to Venus and they see a lot
of gas before they go back and kill all the martians. Page 4 (8 if you count the left side, which is the picture side), simply states: "Then they went to mars(not capitalized because I was a kid) and kiled all the martians." That's it, that's all that happens on page 4... pure genocide.
Dear fucking god.... what drugs was I on as a kid? Next they get caught up in a dust storm but then they go to Jupiter and basically play whack-a-mole with the aliens that live there, ate their brains and lived happily ever after.
I gotta add that to my resume: Published at 9 y/o. It WAS published! I have multiple copies! You can still buy one from me! It's hardback!
....I even used my middle name instead of my first name. Pseudonym muthafucka... at 9!
"The Alien, Dragon and Shark" is about the aforementioned becoming friends and fighting a war with martians... while... apparently as I put it, "they flew around". Seriously, the second page (er like 4th page?) is a picture of them killing martians on the left and then on the right the story is "They saw a martian. They killed it. All three of them flew around.". Somehow page 3 has a detour to Venus and they see a lot
Dear fucking god.... what drugs was I on as a kid? Next they get caught up in a dust storm but then they go to Jupiter and basically play whack-a-mole with the aliens that live there, ate their brains and lived happily ever after.
....I even used my middle name instead of my first name. Pseudonym muthafucka... at 9!