Me: *imagines mid-street* Mr. Paramedic, I swear I put on clean underwear this morning! But I jaywalked and crapped my pants the moment I saw the truck that hit me and left me a blind, bloodied quadriplegic!
Me: *imagines explaining dirty underwear to a paramedic* *keeps going to crosswalk*
Me: *imagines explaining dirty underwear to a paramedic* *keeps going to crosswalk*