Indeed. Hey @Aviva, just wanted to catch you on a post that hasn't yet become wildly popular. You heard a little bit of my story, and I read a little bit about yours on another post. I don't know if this is of any interest to you, and it's very unlike me to offer- but you're a tough cookie and I have great respect for it. I don't want someone like that to go through what I went through, because I never had anyone to ask for help or advice.
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If you ever need help, or someone to talk to, or someone to ask for advice about things that perhaps nobody else has been through, I'd be willing to give you some time and insight if I can. I think you've had a life similar to mine, and I think much more difficult. I have so much respect for that.
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My greatest self-criticism is that I didn't have the courage to walk away from my parents at 15. My life would have been much better. It sounds like you did have that courage. I admire that tremendously.
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Let me know, and keep your head up :)
@shikharizard Hi! Thank you. That‘s really thoughtful of you. And I‘ll let you know if I
need advice or help.
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I had to get out that early because if I didn‘t, I would‘ve been dead by now. My mom wasn‘t abusive, but she died when I was 6. I was crazy scared when I decided to walk away, and I have been called stupid for leaving, but I don‘t regret any of it. My siblings and I needed to be able to be human beings and not objects locked away in a box and buried. They were afraid to make a move and I felt I had to. You probably already know all of that.
.
Thanks again! :)
@Aviva Awww sweetheart. As a woman, you're going to have to learn that being ignored will be a significant part of your life.
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@Xvarnah Can you corroborate?
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I wish this site accepted emojis. I would put one of those grinning purple devils in here right about now ;)
@Shikharizard How dare you be so sexist!?(I‘m kidding lol). On a serious note, I already deal with being ignored but it doesn‘t really bother me anymore. And I meant you ignoring me
I'm not entirely sure what I'm corroborating, so I'll just shoot in the dark. I mean, guys that ignore your words rarely ignore your chest, so I guess in that regard you're always bound to be noticed.
'
Tbh if I'm being honest I've noticed most guys are fine-- and a lot of them seem to decide they need to protect you. They make extra certain I lock the doors anytime I've been at a job alone and such, or that I don't go home in the dark etc. Not that I'm complaining since it's probably for the best anyway.
'
There are the ones that step over the line-- unwanted staring/contact/promises-to-win-the-lottery-and-take-you-to-hawaii etc, and some that look down on you because you're female. But I think most guys are just going through life moderately distracted by the parts of women that jiggle and otherwise trying to do what they need to do to get by. Which is generally how women also go through life, always
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· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah good lord. That took a turn. I was expecting a mild scolding on the grounds of sexism and corruption, a vague chuckle and reassuring aviva that not all men are like me.
P.s. on a lighter note, it’s nice to know women also notice the parts of men that jiggle ;)
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@Aviva and I’m not ignoring you.. I’ll get to answering. Yes, I was also joking. Don’t let people who ignore you get away with it. Ever. Know your worth. If they pretend they don’t know yours, make sure you show them the same.
In my defence I was confused when I started trying to respond since I wasn't entirely sure what was going on (we're all shocked and appalled here), so I was just basing my entire comment on your little snippet there haha. I've read over your guys' messages a second (or fourth time) and I am (marginally) less confused. I've also developed a substance abuse problem when it comes to my liberal use of brackets it seems.
'
And in that case @Aviva -grumble, huff, best mama-bear voice- don't listen to him, he's a man and just therefore worried you might try and give him directions somewhere if he listens to you for too long. Run along now
-insert muttering about corruption of the innocent, bloody whippersnappers ruining everything, something unpleasant about shikharizard's mother-
'
^ is that a bit better?
On a serious note again, however, I don't think you're an entirely corrupting force on @aviva (yes, now I'm talking about you like you're not here). Grim would probably disagree but he might be bias. Either way, she's certainly been through her share and is probably tougher than it seems like I'm giving her credit for. It's mostly just innuendo she doesn't get, and it's rare to find someone whos brain isn't constantly in (or wandering close TO) the gutter, so I'm willing to defend that aspect of her personality haha.
'
I wouldn't go so far as to say I think it would be good if all men were like you, but from the little I know of you it seems like it would definitely be good if more men were like you. Except maybe slightly less blood on their lips. Makes it too easy for vampires to blend into our society. But earnest, empathetic, loyal, reasonable, intelligent, and funny hardly seem like bad traits
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· 5 years ago
@Xvarnah that was GLORIOUS! Thank you. And... thank you, that actually meant a lot
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I should reiterate though, my rendezvous with the moon goddess was a one-time affair, and definitely not on purpose. I am also against vampiric integration to society. Also “grumble - huff best mama-bear voice” has made me smile every time I read it. My mother is a lovely lady, though perhaps not the best mother.
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And that’s a fair point. I suppose I come at it from the cynical angle that eventually, her mind will be in the gutter like everyone else’s, but maybe - just maybe - I shouldn’t contribute to that. Thoughts @grimreaper? And yes now we’re talking about baby @Aviva like she isn’t here.
@shikharizard now admittedly the corrupting comment was made before you started encouraging catfluff to lick aviva's legs and I may have to do a slight retraction there <.<
'
Admittedly I don't actually know you that well, but all that's the impression you've left me with so far.
'
It took me way too bloody long to realize what the hell the moon goddess was BTW. I was like "is this just an extension of me bringing up vampires so he's bringing up other monster/folklore shit or--- ohhhhhh. THAT moon goddess." It most definitely didn't sound intentional haha. And I think the twilight era convinced most of us that vampiric integration would be a bad idea all around. Haha I'm glad :) and now that made me smile
Well to each their own, right? And I mean, even if you try to corrupt her, there's some people who literally never learn to think that way. My mom comes to mind. Can't even begin to tell you how many phrases and such I've had to explain to her because she's got no idea and doesn't think in those terms and I have to make sure she's not going to randomly throw some phrase out there and then ten people (including her) will die of shock.
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Just the other day I had to explain autoerotic asphyxiation after she saw a scene in the umbrella academy and didn't understand what was going on. I'm pretty sure she still hasn't recovered.
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My only genuine caution here would be if Aviva expresses genuine discomfort about the comments, especially since she's a minor, but I imagine if she did you'd probably respect that
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Also completely unrelated but for some reason I thought grim had said he was 14 somewhere and had no idea he was older until you pointed it out the other day
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· 5 years ago
I've had my age on my account since day one, xvarnah.
I don't actually go to peoples' accounts... ever, really. I think I've gone to 4 accounts since I joined haha. I also don't really care overly much about or notice peoples' ages unless they make a point of telling me their age. I thought I saw a comment with you saying you were 14 at some point in time and didn't put much thought into proving or disproving it. I was obviously mistaken, but it doesn't really change much other than I'm slightly less likely to defend you from shikharizard's comments haha
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· 5 years ago
Tbh, I'm curious how old mama @Xvarnah is. I'm going with 26-29, but it's hard to tell.
@Shikharizard Usually, when someone doesn‘t value me, I just ignore them. My tolerance for that is very low. I‘m glad the “block“ button exists. Also, I feel it‘s gonna take you ages to respond lol.
@Xvarnah Shik really can‘t avoid me giving him directions lol. He did open up after all. And you have a point about the corruption thing. Just yesterday, my cousin told me what “giving head“ was when some guy mentioned it.
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And yay, I don‘t have a dirty mind!
@Shikharizard You sure do love dragging people into convos lol. I‘m sure Grim is confused. And my mind will never be in the gutter because I‘m careful of what I feed it.
@Xvarnah He did what!? Is it in this post? I‘ve been busy today and haven‘t checked all my notifications yet. What impression do I leave you with, momma bear? And I looked up “autoerotic asphyxiation“ and it‘s messed up. Is that really a thing? :O
@Shikharizard Momma bear is probably in her 30s...I think. She could be an ageless alien
Every guy(that is, @Shikharizard and @grimreaper ) here, I‘m about to tell @Xvarnah something you can‘t intrude into, but you can read it. Got that? lol
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· 5 years ago
Yes, autoerotic asphyxiation is a thing. And I won't intrude.
@aviva that was more a play on the whole "men hate asking for directions" cliché since Shik expected me to give some mostly joking comments related to sexism.
'
Haha keep in mind I definitely can't keep you from getting down in the gutter with the rest of us of your own volition if you're so determined to do so.
'
I'm not sure what you're asking me in that bit. About Grim being 14? No it's not a recent comment-- I thought I saw it months and months ago, but it could very well be someone else or he just referred to something that happened when he WAS 14 or any number of other things. I was just saying I'd been operating under that misunderstanding this whole time haha.
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I'm not good at giving things like this on the spot. Mostly you seem like a very caring individual who always does their best to try and see the good in the world despite living through so much of the bad. You're compassionate and brave, maybe a small bit insecure (but who of us isn't? This isn't a criticism so don't focus on it), thoughtful and strong and smart among other things.
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This ^ is the last one of these I'm doing on demand so please don't ask me anyone else <.<
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(Cont)
@Grimreaper Woah :O (“Day by day we stray further away from God“) And ok!
@Shikharizard Promise not to intrude!
@Xvarnah I understood what you were referring to :)
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My mind won‘t be in a gutter even if Shik tries to pull me into one.
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I was referring to what you said about Shik encouraging Catfluff to lick my legs.
And, yes, autoerotic asphyxiation is very much a thing. Going into the technical side (as I did with my mom) a lot of men unwittingly get erections from being strangled etc. In these scenarios it's not a pleasure response necessarily-- it's more tied into muscle contractions and blood supply. It's been known to occur even in men that have been killed.
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However, there is a side of strangulation/suffocation that is linked to an adrenal response (iirc) and the various sensations that come from oxygen deprivation (hypoxia). It's said to induce a kind of high in the person and put them in a state or euphoria-- which I can only hope was worthwhile, because it's not uncommon for asphyxiation-- particularly when practised alone-- to go wrong. The mortician I used to know worked on several people who had died trying to engage in autoerotic asphyxiation. And that's the ones that died and didn't end up in comas
@Aviva ooo that's in a different thread. Idk which one I only commented in it once a few days ago I think. Someone was throwing tuna, catfluff was licking your legs, Shikiharizard was being Shikiharizard, and Grim was having a stroke
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· 5 years ago
@Aviva I promise!
@Xvarnah you are beyond priceless. I laughed out loud at work at:
"Someone was throwing tuna, catfluff was licking your legs, Shikiharizard was being Shikiharizard, and Grim was having a stroke"
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I'm really starting to enjoy my dysfunctional, forcibly adopted funsub family. Y'all make me laugh more than anyone I know irl
@Xvarnah Aww thanks, momma bear :)
And you didn‘t sugar coat that lol. That pretty much sums up what happened on that chat lol.
@Shikharizard Thanks.
@Xvarnah So I got a disturbing text this morning...
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If you ever need help, or someone to talk to, or someone to ask for advice about things that perhaps nobody else has been through, I'd be willing to give you some time and insight if I can. I think you've had a life similar to mine, and I think much more difficult. I have so much respect for that.
.
My greatest self-criticism is that I didn't have the courage to walk away from my parents at 15. My life would have been much better. It sounds like you did have that courage. I admire that tremendously.
.
Let me know, and keep your head up :)
need advice or help.
.
I had to get out that early because if I didn‘t, I would‘ve been dead by now. My mom wasn‘t abusive, but she died when I was 6. I was crazy scared when I decided to walk away, and I have been called stupid for leaving, but I don‘t regret any of it. My siblings and I needed to be able to be human beings and not objects locked away in a box and buried. They were afraid to make a move and I felt I had to. You probably already know all of that.
.
Thanks again! :)
I...I won‘t invite you for my 18th birthday! Also, you obviously need help, so spill it before I poke you again with a stick
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@Xvarnah Can you corroborate?
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I wish this site accepted emojis. I would put one of those grinning purple devils in here right about now ;)
'
Tbh if I'm being honest I've noticed most guys are fine-- and a lot of them seem to decide they need to protect you. They make extra certain I lock the doors anytime I've been at a job alone and such, or that I don't go home in the dark etc. Not that I'm complaining since it's probably for the best anyway.
'
There are the ones that step over the line-- unwanted staring/contact/promises-to-win-the-lottery-and-take-you-to-hawaii etc, and some that look down on you because you're female. But I think most guys are just going through life moderately distracted by the parts of women that jiggle and otherwise trying to do what they need to do to get by. Which is generally how women also go through life, always
P.s. on a lighter note, it’s nice to know women also notice the parts of men that jiggle ;)
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@Aviva and I’m not ignoring you.. I’ll get to answering. Yes, I was also joking. Don’t let people who ignore you get away with it. Ever. Know your worth. If they pretend they don’t know yours, make sure you show them the same.
'
And in that case @Aviva -grumble, huff, best mama-bear voice- don't listen to him, he's a man and just therefore worried you might try and give him directions somewhere if he listens to you for too long. Run along now
-insert muttering about corruption of the innocent, bloody whippersnappers ruining everything, something unpleasant about shikharizard's mother-
'
^ is that a bit better?
'
I wouldn't go so far as to say I think it would be good if all men were like you, but from the little I know of you it seems like it would definitely be good if more men were like you. Except maybe slightly less blood on their lips. Makes it too easy for vampires to blend into our society. But earnest, empathetic, loyal, reasonable, intelligent, and funny hardly seem like bad traits
.
I should reiterate though, my rendezvous with the moon goddess was a one-time affair, and definitely not on purpose. I am also against vampiric integration to society. Also “grumble - huff best mama-bear voice” has made me smile every time I read it. My mother is a lovely lady, though perhaps not the best mother.
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And that’s a fair point. I suppose I come at it from the cynical angle that eventually, her mind will be in the gutter like everyone else’s, but maybe - just maybe - I shouldn’t contribute to that. Thoughts @grimreaper? And yes now we’re talking about baby @Aviva like she isn’t here.
'
Admittedly I don't actually know you that well, but all that's the impression you've left me with so far.
'
It took me way too bloody long to realize what the hell the moon goddess was BTW. I was like "is this just an extension of me bringing up vampires so he's bringing up other monster/folklore shit or--- ohhhhhh. THAT moon goddess." It most definitely didn't sound intentional haha. And I think the twilight era convinced most of us that vampiric integration would be a bad idea all around. Haha I'm glad :) and now that made me smile
'
Just the other day I had to explain autoerotic asphyxiation after she saw a scene in the umbrella academy and didn't understand what was going on. I'm pretty sure she still hasn't recovered.
'
My only genuine caution here would be if Aviva expresses genuine discomfort about the comments, especially since she's a minor, but I imagine if she did you'd probably respect that
'
Also completely unrelated but for some reason I thought grim had said he was 14 somewhere and had no idea he was older until you pointed it out the other day
@Xvarnah Shik really can‘t avoid me giving him directions lol. He did open up after all. And you have a point about the corruption thing. Just yesterday, my cousin told me what “giving head“ was when some guy mentioned it.
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And yay, I don‘t have a dirty mind!
@Shikharizard You sure do love dragging people into convos lol. I‘m sure Grim is confused. And my mind will never be in the gutter because I‘m careful of what I feed it.
@Xvarnah He did what!? Is it in this post? I‘ve been busy today and haven‘t checked all my notifications yet. What impression do I leave you with, momma bear? And I looked up “autoerotic asphyxiation“ and it‘s messed up. Is that really a thing? :O
@Shikharizard Momma bear is probably in her 30s...I think. She could be an ageless alien
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Haha keep in mind I definitely can't keep you from getting down in the gutter with the rest of us of your own volition if you're so determined to do so.
'
I'm not sure what you're asking me in that bit. About Grim being 14? No it's not a recent comment-- I thought I saw it months and months ago, but it could very well be someone else or he just referred to something that happened when he WAS 14 or any number of other things. I was just saying I'd been operating under that misunderstanding this whole time haha.
'
'
This ^ is the last one of these I'm doing on demand so please don't ask me anyone else <.<
'
(Cont)
@Shikharizard Promise not to intrude!
@Xvarnah I understood what you were referring to :)
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My mind won‘t be in a gutter even if Shik tries to pull me into one.
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I was referring to what you said about Shik encouraging Catfluff to lick my legs.
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However, there is a side of strangulation/suffocation that is linked to an adrenal response (iirc) and the various sensations that come from oxygen deprivation (hypoxia). It's said to induce a kind of high in the person and put them in a state or euphoria-- which I can only hope was worthwhile, because it's not uncommon for asphyxiation-- particularly when practised alone-- to go wrong. The mortician I used to know worked on several people who had died trying to engage in autoerotic asphyxiation. And that's the ones that died and didn't end up in comas
@Xvarnah you are beyond priceless. I laughed out loud at work at:
"Someone was throwing tuna, catfluff was licking your legs, Shikiharizard was being Shikiharizard, and Grim was having a stroke"
.
I'm really starting to enjoy my dysfunctional, forcibly adopted funsub family. Y'all make me laugh more than anyone I know irl
And you didn‘t sugar coat that lol. That pretty much sums up what happened on that chat lol.
@Shikharizard Thanks.
@Xvarnah So I got a disturbing text this morning...