And my first thought is that would make it remarkably easy to strangle a person
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· 5 years ago
No more so than ties. If you know how, and you grab the tie the right way, you can grab both ends, tighten it, and control the only way to untie. After that you just wait.
Yeah but a tie would be more difficult to get hold of to begin with, and be more slippery. This let's you strangle a person on a whim and at a distance
Or else someday years from now you'll show up suddenly and cryptically inform me that it was or wasn't a pun. Sadly at that point I'll no longer have any idea what you were talking about. Which usually only takes around 16 minutes for me in most conversations anyway
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· 5 years ago
Was that an interesting tidbit of what goes on in Auntie Xvarnah's mind, or a long winded way or saying you really don't care anyway? Hahaha
So I would imagine.
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FYI I just stumbled upon the post where you mention being fed up of the men vs women debate. I want you to know i was going to get it into gear and swing at guest with a compelling and incisive argument.. but i held back for the sake of mama-bear's sanity. You're welcome ;)
Haha I appreciate that, actually. I'm a little surprised you're willing to hold back tbh, but I do appreciate it
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Although at this point I'm pretty ready to unfollow the post. I'm not really planning on getting involved in it again. I think guest_ and vit (vik? I don't remember that guy's name) both have potentially valid points-- although I also suspect V might have misunderstood me. But I am genuinely drained on the subject and don't really have the energy or motivation to die on that particular hill right now
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Edited 5 years ago
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· 5 years ago
It took tremendous restraint. Guest is a nightmare to argue against and we disagree strongly. Vit and I actually see almost completely eye to eye- so this one would have been easy to chime in on.. but I bit my tongue.
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I don't blame you. I would stop spending time on sites like this, but I'd die of a combination of loneliness and boredom. It's just difficult not to get engaged on contentious, highly charged topics, and it feels like a waste anyway. We can argue to death and it wouldn't make any difference to the world.
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Feels like we're all caught in our own trenches eh?
Haha I've actually gone a few rounds with guest_, but almost always for the sole point of just having a good debate. I generally get along with them pretty well. The sheer length of their comment responses can be overwhelming sometimes (like I'm one to talk). Me and guest_ have seen eye to eye on quite a few things. So, naturally, it only makes sense you'd get on better with Vit, because of course x)
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I've not interacted with Vit much-- mostly I see them on political posts, and I don't get involved in those much anymore. There was one that had to do with rape and he had some strong opinions (which I'd asked him to give). That one actually ended with him and guest_ going back and forth as well now that I think about it haha
It is. As I said in the chat I've been following a story which has a lot to do with social media, and I've never been one to waste time with that, but some of the things people say just make you go "I will reach through that screen and beat you over the head with a sledgehammer until SOME semblance of basic logic gets through that immeasurably thick skull of yours, you waste of human skin."
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It can take a monumental effort to back off from wanting to grab the pitchforks, so I definitely understand and again appreciate you not going for it. Although you can if you truly want to. I've found the night is usually better after walking away
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I think a lot of people on this site are lonely. Or struggling with something. That's part of why I'm willing to make an effort to preserve it haha
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Caught in the trenches, but can still pick our battles if we want to :)
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· 5 years ago
Hahaha, it's funny that you agree with guest and I agree with vit - naturally. But I think it just goes to show how fucked some of these popular social topics are. You and I are definitely very different people, but we don't end up butting heads that often. We might even be polar opposites, but we CAN get along.
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Why does none of that surprise me?
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I think for me, it fundamentally comes down to the fact that I hate how society is going to shit. Its shallow, its weak, its self-satisfied and the bar, ALL bars are set to a low standard. We were raised on movies that show us it's a viable choice to go live in a cabin in the woods and hunt deer.. and I suppose it is... but its really not; or I would. I wish I could get away, but I can't. So then I have to stay and participate in society.. and society SUCKS
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· 5 years ago
Those are the people I walk away from. I say enough, with enough venom, that despite their proclamations to the contrary, I know I've drawn blood. Then I walk way. I'm not going to get through to them, so I might as well burn them by stating/showing my superiority and washing my hands of it.
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That's exactly how I felt about tbag. I knew he wasn't going to get it, but I'm not one to give up.
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Eh, I've been alone to some extent or another since I was 8. I genuinely feel at unease when I'm not lonely. Its fucked. I guess that means I'm fucked. What a shock. But seriously, you need the conversation for basic stimulation. I think that's why digital communities are even a thing.
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I know you're right, but the pitbull in me wants to fight every fight and win
Haha it does figure. Though on that particular post from the little I read of what they said I think both of them misinterpreted my meaning a little
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Indeed. There have been a few occasions where I've probably lost it on people, but in general I find I can usually say to people on here "you know what? We don't agree and I'm getting too frustrated to deal with you civil right now, so you go that way and I'll go this way and we'll see if we can't be friends on the next post." Usually if we don't agree on one topic we can agree on a different one and then everyone's happier. There's only a very minor few on this website that have made me think "you are so profoundly ridiculous" and caused me to hold even a little bit of a grudge
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People should be able to talk civilly about most topics even if they don't agree. What's the point of living in an echo chamber?
Sometimes it can be good to set their words on fire and watch them flap around watching them burn. However, as you say, most of these people are too ridiculous to ever consider that they might be wrong, and no little thing like logic is going to get in their way. If it seems like someone's already handling it better or the situation is hopeless I don't mind walking away. Well, no, I do mind, but I get over it haha
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Most people are fucked in some way. Tbh given your history with your parents it sounds like it could have less to do with feeling at ease when you're not lonely and more to do with some latent anxiety or distrust toward people you let into your life. Annnnd there I go psycho-analyzing again. Apologies. But yeah, humans are social creatures by nature. Even if interaction isn't possible or healthy, we seek it out. Which is how we end up stranded on beaches talking to bloody volleyballs as if they're alive
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· 5 years ago
Damn, 3 comments. Are you sure you're not guest?
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Yeah that's not me. I'm the type to tell them how stupid they are, tell them I know they're too stupid to get it, tell them I can no longer be bothered to try and get through to them, and tell them that I hate them because they're stupid and I don't associate with that. Different approaches I guess?
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Frankly, I don't care if the conversation is civil, the cowards just need to be able to have a conversation, and hear opinions that contradict theirs. It IS POSSIBLE that they might be wrong - as it's possible that I might be. Thankfully I'm usually not.
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Right, and that's BS. He hides behind 17 different arguments, because he's too much of a coward to take a stand on a single one. That or he just wants to be the voice of EVERY type of reason, and it's annoying. It's like trying to have a conversation with an eloquent, philosophical, encyclopedia. Pick a side or **** off.
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· 5 years ago
It's not feasible... I can't start a fire without matches or a lighter. I'd be dead in 3 days.
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Walking away is winning only when there's is no other way to win. I'm convinced I can beat almost anyone into submission.
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Though yes, I do enjoy watching people flail around angrily, after I agitate them. The closest sensation to winning- besides winning itself, which is much more gratifying.
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Feel free to psycho-analyze. I enjoy the and the perspective. I have SEVERE trust issues. I hate the term, but its the one society uses. Long story short, I don't trust anyone easily, and when I do lower my defenses long enough to trust someone, it's hard for me to let those people go. So it's even harder to trust people the next time around, after they DO go.
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What bothers me most is that I used to be completely calm and self-sufficient in isolation. I genuinely was fine on my own before my first gf. She forcibly made me a social creature. I've been trying repair the damage for years.
Haha I'm sure I've given guest_ a run for their money in comment length before
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Well as I said I don't always walk away immediately. But eventually I usually do because I don't enjoy wasting my time on stupid people who can't back up their reasoning beyond "It should be this way because I said it should." Generally when I've noticed this behaviour repeated I tend to just not engage with the user in the future when I don't have to as well.
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I don't think guest_ is a coward Haha. He has certainly had no trouble standing up for things when he does believe them. I think he largely tries to be a voice of differing perspectives, and given how prone to go from zero to outrage people are these days I don't find that necessarily a bad thing. It can be frustrating at times, but far less so to me than people screaming obscenities at each other because one of them doesn't like cake or something equally ridiculous
I'm afraid psycho-analyzing is just what my brain does regardless of the person Haha, but I know I'm off base at times and it does make people uncomfortable. I know you wanted Aviva to back off a bit as well, so I try to respect boundaries when possible.
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Sounds like you're basically in a constant state of waiting for the other shoe to drop when it comes to people, and then when it does some part of you is going "see?! I TOLD you this would happen!" Which, again, from the little you've mentioned of your parents I wouldn't find that even a little surprising. On the one hand this makes it incredibly difficult to find a relationship, but on the other I imagine it must makes the ones you DO find feel a lot more intense/worthwhile.
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With some survival training, if you truly wanted to, you'd be more or less fine
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Haha you see socializing as such a weakness or inconvenience it seems but I'm sure there must be some silver lining that's come out of it
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· 5 years ago
Yeah I'm not really the disengage type. To the misfortune of bystanders I'm more the engage and vanquish type. Avoiding people gives them the impression of victory. And we wouldn't want that.
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Nah, guest is coward. He thinks and argues like one. I half want to tag him here, but seriously. The guy thinks he's never wrong because he wont pick a side and stand behind a single argument. I respect neutrality and open-mindedness, but then he has the gall to go and argue opinionatedly and passive-aggressivley. Then he gets agitated when you come back at him. Yuck.
I think maybe you just haven't caught him in the right arguments. But, again, his end goal is more debate than argument I think. Either way we can agree to disagree this round
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Haha I think you'd very much dislike arguing with me in that case. I tend to specialize in sarcasm and passive-aggression
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· 5 years ago
Sorry. I was typing the rest of this response.
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If you do analyze, please share. Including the harsh opinions. I don't mind and I appreciate the perspective. I wasn't bothered by Aviva asking as much as annoyed. Talking about my problems wont change them, and it kind of became like the kids asking "are we there yet". I'm touched she cared to ask at all. New points of view are different. That's worth hearing, esp if the other person is insightful. You quite frequently are.
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And no, I'm not, not yet anyway. It's true, I don't trust people easily, or at all. But with most people, they're not "in my bubble" I'm not expecting fair play or warm treatment from them anyway. The people I do bring into my bubble - personal relationships - I'm still forcing myself not to become jaded and completely stop caring.. but it's not as easy as it used to be. It just feels like people are so unreliable, what's the point? I've always done things by myself, why not continue like this as a rule.
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· 5 years ago
I recently cut ties with my parents. My brother lives in Europe. I have no other immediate family. Maybe it's time to go completely solo. As I never shut up about- things didn't go well with my ex, so nows as good a time as any to rebuild my self-reliance. When you're looking at like practically from that angle, is it surprising you'd consider socializing a weakness, and a huge waste of time? It just feels like the universe is shouting at me to withdraw into my shell for a while. All signs point to it, and my job is stressful and social enough that I need my downtime for to be exclusively for recovery.
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No survival training. I'm not going to be a coward and run away, so if I have to stay, I'm going to compete and win instead.
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· 5 years ago
And yes, I imagine arguing with you to be hellish. You're sarcastical at the best of times- I can't imagine how bad it gets when you're playing offense.
I'm not sure what you're apologizing for. Must be the Canadian genes
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Well as long as you're comfortable with it haha. Aviva just has a very big heart and would very much like to help you be okay-- whether you feel you need the help or not. I'm not going to go into everything she's been through, but trust me when I say she has definitely been through (and continues to go through) a lot. Including with her parents. I think maybe she listened to some of what you went through with your parents and sympathized. She's found talking about it to be very cathartic, and I think she thought it might be the same for you. I think she likely took your reaction decently hard as a result
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If I am overstepping at some point then let me know
Well, it does sound like taking some time for you would be healthy. I think I mentioned before but people jumping from relationship to relationship often end up so completely twisted up the relationship is doomed before it starts. We may be similar in that regard in that I don't want to waste time with someone, I want to spend time with *the* one. Not in like a soulmate one-and-only kind of way, but. Hopefully you get my meaning.
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You've talked about her often but that's not necessarily a bad thing. She was a big part of your life and it sounds like she's one of the few people you allowed to make an impact on you. I know you kind of resent the whole "needing socialization" etc now, but I'm curious if the relationship wasn't worth it even despite that. I guess this is an "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" moment
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Haha I don't see it as cowardice. You're not turning away from society because you're afraid of it. It simply makes you happier not to be there
I don't eat tomatoes often because I fear them, I simply prefer eating something else. That's my viewpoint anyway. Not that I'm trying to encourage you to run off and leave with the wolves
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FYI I just stumbled upon the post where you mention being fed up of the men vs women debate. I want you to know i was going to get it into gear and swing at guest with a compelling and incisive argument.. but i held back for the sake of mama-bear's sanity. You're welcome ;)
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Although at this point I'm pretty ready to unfollow the post. I'm not really planning on getting involved in it again. I think guest_ and vit (vik? I don't remember that guy's name) both have potentially valid points-- although I also suspect V might have misunderstood me. But I am genuinely drained on the subject and don't really have the energy or motivation to die on that particular hill right now
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I don't blame you. I would stop spending time on sites like this, but I'd die of a combination of loneliness and boredom. It's just difficult not to get engaged on contentious, highly charged topics, and it feels like a waste anyway. We can argue to death and it wouldn't make any difference to the world.
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Feels like we're all caught in our own trenches eh?
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I've not interacted with Vit much-- mostly I see them on political posts, and I don't get involved in those much anymore. There was one that had to do with rape and he had some strong opinions (which I'd asked him to give). That one actually ended with him and guest_ going back and forth as well now that I think about it haha
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It can take a monumental effort to back off from wanting to grab the pitchforks, so I definitely understand and again appreciate you not going for it. Although you can if you truly want to. I've found the night is usually better after walking away
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I think a lot of people on this site are lonely. Or struggling with something. That's part of why I'm willing to make an effort to preserve it haha
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Caught in the trenches, but can still pick our battles if we want to :)
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Why does none of that surprise me?
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I think for me, it fundamentally comes down to the fact that I hate how society is going to shit. Its shallow, its weak, its self-satisfied and the bar, ALL bars are set to a low standard. We were raised on movies that show us it's a viable choice to go live in a cabin in the woods and hunt deer.. and I suppose it is... but its really not; or I would. I wish I could get away, but I can't. So then I have to stay and participate in society.. and society SUCKS
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That's exactly how I felt about tbag. I knew he wasn't going to get it, but I'm not one to give up.
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Eh, I've been alone to some extent or another since I was 8. I genuinely feel at unease when I'm not lonely. Its fucked. I guess that means I'm fucked. What a shock. But seriously, you need the conversation for basic stimulation. I think that's why digital communities are even a thing.
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I know you're right, but the pitbull in me wants to fight every fight and win
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Indeed. There have been a few occasions where I've probably lost it on people, but in general I find I can usually say to people on here "you know what? We don't agree and I'm getting too frustrated to deal with you civil right now, so you go that way and I'll go this way and we'll see if we can't be friends on the next post." Usually if we don't agree on one topic we can agree on a different one and then everyone's happier. There's only a very minor few on this website that have made me think "you are so profoundly ridiculous" and caused me to hold even a little bit of a grudge
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People should be able to talk civilly about most topics even if they don't agree. What's the point of living in an echo chamber?
Vit and guest_ both tend to have a decent amount to say about controversial topics. The thing with guest_, though, is he often likes to point of the perspective of both sides-- or the one that's not being represented. Sometimes it can be hard to tell which side he actually is even on personally-- assuming he has one at all. I think he enjoys trying to make people think
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I think we all hate society, although when I think about it that's not really a new thing. The biggest issue is everytime it seems there's a possible solution or progress it ends up adding 5 new issues no one ever considered and we're ill-equipped to deal with.
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It's not entirely unviable to go off-grid, but it would take a lot of effort
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Cue cliché statement " sometimes walking away is winning"
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Most people are fucked in some way. Tbh given your history with your parents it sounds like it could have less to do with feeling at ease when you're not lonely and more to do with some latent anxiety or distrust toward people you let into your life. Annnnd there I go psycho-analyzing again. Apologies. But yeah, humans are social creatures by nature. Even if interaction isn't possible or healthy, we seek it out. Which is how we end up stranded on beaches talking to bloody volleyballs as if they're alive
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Yeah that's not me. I'm the type to tell them how stupid they are, tell them I know they're too stupid to get it, tell them I can no longer be bothered to try and get through to them, and tell them that I hate them because they're stupid and I don't associate with that. Different approaches I guess?
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Frankly, I don't care if the conversation is civil, the cowards just need to be able to have a conversation, and hear opinions that contradict theirs. It IS POSSIBLE that they might be wrong - as it's possible that I might be. Thankfully I'm usually not.
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Right, and that's BS. He hides behind 17 different arguments, because he's too much of a coward to take a stand on a single one. That or he just wants to be the voice of EVERY type of reason, and it's annoying. It's like trying to have a conversation with an eloquent, philosophical, encyclopedia. Pick a side or **** off.
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Walking away is winning only when there's is no other way to win. I'm convinced I can beat almost anyone into submission.
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Though yes, I do enjoy watching people flail around angrily, after I agitate them. The closest sensation to winning- besides winning itself, which is much more gratifying.
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Feel free to psycho-analyze. I enjoy the and the perspective. I have SEVERE trust issues. I hate the term, but its the one society uses. Long story short, I don't trust anyone easily, and when I do lower my defenses long enough to trust someone, it's hard for me to let those people go. So it's even harder to trust people the next time around, after they DO go.
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What bothers me most is that I used to be completely calm and self-sufficient in isolation. I genuinely was fine on my own before my first gf. She forcibly made me a social creature. I've been trying repair the damage for years.
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Well as I said I don't always walk away immediately. But eventually I usually do because I don't enjoy wasting my time on stupid people who can't back up their reasoning beyond "It should be this way because I said it should." Generally when I've noticed this behaviour repeated I tend to just not engage with the user in the future when I don't have to as well.
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I don't think guest_ is a coward Haha. He has certainly had no trouble standing up for things when he does believe them. I think he largely tries to be a voice of differing perspectives, and given how prone to go from zero to outrage people are these days I don't find that necessarily a bad thing. It can be frustrating at times, but far less so to me than people screaming obscenities at each other because one of them doesn't like cake or something equally ridiculous
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Sounds like you're basically in a constant state of waiting for the other shoe to drop when it comes to people, and then when it does some part of you is going "see?! I TOLD you this would happen!" Which, again, from the little you've mentioned of your parents I wouldn't find that even a little surprising. On the one hand this makes it incredibly difficult to find a relationship, but on the other I imagine it must makes the ones you DO find feel a lot more intense/worthwhile.
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With some survival training, if you truly wanted to, you'd be more or less fine
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Haha you see socializing as such a weakness or inconvenience it seems but I'm sure there must be some silver lining that's come out of it
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Nah, guest is coward. He thinks and argues like one. I half want to tag him here, but seriously. The guy thinks he's never wrong because he wont pick a side and stand behind a single argument. I respect neutrality and open-mindedness, but then he has the gall to go and argue opinionatedly and passive-aggressivley. Then he gets agitated when you come back at him. Yuck.
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Haha I think you'd very much dislike arguing with me in that case. I tend to specialize in sarcasm and passive-aggression
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If you do analyze, please share. Including the harsh opinions. I don't mind and I appreciate the perspective. I wasn't bothered by Aviva asking as much as annoyed. Talking about my problems wont change them, and it kind of became like the kids asking "are we there yet". I'm touched she cared to ask at all. New points of view are different. That's worth hearing, esp if the other person is insightful. You quite frequently are.
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And no, I'm not, not yet anyway. It's true, I don't trust people easily, or at all. But with most people, they're not "in my bubble" I'm not expecting fair play or warm treatment from them anyway. The people I do bring into my bubble - personal relationships - I'm still forcing myself not to become jaded and completely stop caring.. but it's not as easy as it used to be. It just feels like people are so unreliable, what's the point? I've always done things by myself, why not continue like this as a rule.
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No survival training. I'm not going to be a coward and run away, so if I have to stay, I'm going to compete and win instead.
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Well as long as you're comfortable with it haha. Aviva just has a very big heart and would very much like to help you be okay-- whether you feel you need the help or not. I'm not going to go into everything she's been through, but trust me when I say she has definitely been through (and continues to go through) a lot. Including with her parents. I think maybe she listened to some of what you went through with your parents and sympathized. She's found talking about it to be very cathartic, and I think she thought it might be the same for you. I think she likely took your reaction decently hard as a result
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If I am overstepping at some point then let me know
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You've talked about her often but that's not necessarily a bad thing. She was a big part of your life and it sounds like she's one of the few people you allowed to make an impact on you. I know you kind of resent the whole "needing socialization" etc now, but I'm curious if the relationship wasn't worth it even despite that. I guess this is an "eternal sunshine of the spotless mind" moment
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Haha I don't see it as cowardice. You're not turning away from society because you're afraid of it. It simply makes you happier not to be there