You get bored of hating people, so you start finding them interesting instead.
I know this sounds preachy or bratty, but that’s my fr straight answer. You run your own life more, so you carve out space to do your own thing. Once you have that, you eventually get bored and start looking around outside it for good or interesting things.
Once you’ve gotten that far, you have two paths. If you’re controlling, you start trying to control others. If not, you start trying to see and meet people where they are. For me, it came to be that I found other people were doing stuff and it was interesting. I’m way more stacked up with skills to get along than when I tried to ‘make friends’ as a kid, so I’m building up the arsenal to be a highly skilled old person who can easily and without mistakes help people feel happy and accepted. That’s my whole deal. It will probably be my whole deal until I die. Except when I’m wasting time, backtracking, indulging in self-defeating behavior, and partaking of every mortal sin, of course! lol
I know this sounds preachy or bratty, but that’s my fr straight answer. You run your own life more, so you carve out space to do your own thing. Once you have that, you eventually get bored and start looking around outside it for good or interesting things.