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guest_
· 6 years ago
· FIRST
That’s pretty much my philosophy with most things- if you give me an ultimatum “this or me..” “them or me...” I’ll probably choose them- since they didn’t ask me to give up something that has meaning to me. Of course- nothing is a hard rule. If someone sees a behavior as unhealthy and asks you to stop or cut back- they aren’t asking because they respect you- they may respect you more than you respect yourself. It might also have to do with goals. Time is like money that you can’t save, only spend. Every moment you’re either investing that time into building yourself or something else, or you aren’t. The same as spending money on a massage might relax you and help deal with stress, spending time on something like a game or movie might too.
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guest_
· 6 years ago
But we all have a budget right? If you went out and bought a spa day after work every day you’d likely not be in good financial shape. So likewise we have to budget our time and take time to relax and unwind, but be mindful we aren’t taking too much or more than we can really “afford.” In that light- they may ask you to quit or cut back because you aren’t on track to reach mutual goals. In that case they aren’t disrespecting you- they are trying to help keep you on track the way partners should. The same way he explains it isn’t about the game being more important than her...
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guest_
· 6 years ago
It sometimes isn’t about the game for the ultimatum maker either. Sometimes it’s about your shared life, your compatibility. She may not be asking you to consider the games as more important than what you love, she may be telling you that the life goals you share should be more important than momentary and passing fun. She might see an imbalance in your fun time/work time- and if you don’t also believe in the “shared goals” or want something else, then yes- you should probably split but not under the hostility that they disrespected you- under the mutual understanding that you just both want different things or don’t agree on how to get what you want.
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