How do you teach someone to get a job? Ask your parents (or for some of you grandparents) and they might say something like “walk around and place applications!” Umm... 1. It’s 2020- Many mall jobs don’t even do that anymore. 2. I’ve only ever put in an application for a job maybe... 5 or less times in my life- and all before the age of 20.
No one can tell you how to become a C level exec for example- it’s not a straight path. You don’t take “CxO” as a major. Your CIO May have come from sales or business or even accounting. Your CEO might have communications as a major or whatever. A good deal of the time it’s more about networking than anything- especially for specialized technical jobs and high level management.
But- it all depends. I do t know how to write a resume. They taught us in school. I forgot. I don’t write them. Hardly need them and when I have I just get someone to help or copy someone else’s. Be good at what you do- people will find you or know you. Eventually. That’s usually how you get a decent career- reputation and certification, experience and recognition. But to get “a job..”
Go to a place or their website- the same as taxes. It helps of you pick somewhere you’d like to work- and bonus points if they are hiring a job you can do and want. Know how to use Craigslist? There’s a section for jobs. Works like the other parts of Craigslist. Did school have to teach you how to buy a cheap IKEA shelf or sell your guitar? Know how to online shop? Pretend you’re doing that- but go to websites looking for a job instead of something to buy. You’ll usually find a link- something like.. “careers...” or do what grandpa did and walk around asking to speak to the person that hires and get an application. Fill it out. You know how to fill in the blanks on a labeled form yes? Do that.
As said earlier- it really depends on the job too right? Getting hired as a police officer, a server, a photographer, a singer, an actor, an electrical engineer... all a little different. You often need to do certain things or take extra steps. It’s all so confusing I know. Try something like this:
1. Go to google.
2. Type in “<my city/county/state or agency (dmv, post office etc)> government jobs”
Or
“<company you know of like UPS, DHL, Apple, Google, Oscar Meyer, Nike, etc.> Jobs”
3. Find the result with listings for those jobs.
4. Find a job you think you want or can do.
5. Read it.
6. Follow the instructions they provide and give requested information.
7. Repeat until you get a job.
There. That’s maybe... 10 minutes out of one day of school. Assuming you don’t forget it- since it is pretty straight forward. We’ve covered taxes before. Go to the IRS website, go to the IRS building. Fill out the form the tell you to- follow the instructions on the form. If that is too hard- get turbo tax or hire an accountant. Done. All done.
Look, I am coming off as harsh but maybe we should rephrase the question? You don’t want or need someone to teach you to do these things- well... you might if you have a particularly low IQ or some type of mental complication that puts these things outside your grasp. That’s fair. But MOST people with this complaint don’t need someone to teach them to fill out a paint by number. You want a handholder, or a fall guy.
Being an adult- newly becoming a legal adult especially- it can be tough. It can cause stress and anxiety- and if you already suffer particularly from those things it can be extra overwhelming. You aren’t really likely helpless- you just probably want someone to hold your hand. Look over your shoulder and tell you you are doing it right. Reassure you that you put the right address on the envelope or are saying the “right” answers.
Or... some people just want someone to blame it on. If school never taught you- you’re struggles and failures to meet your expectations of you are schools fault. If school taught you and you fail or struggle- school did a bad job teaching you. For our own egos it is much easier to rationalize how someone as smart and capable and special as us could be anything but a fat cat on easy street- because someone ELSE messed up.
But If a road map for a successful life were so simple- why would t everyone have it and follow it? If there were this magical map to the life you want- that all these other people but you have, and no one wants to share- dude... it’s 2020. Internet. How could ALL these people keep something like that secret? Answer: they can’t.
The life you live is partially your circumstances. How easy or likely certain things are for you will depend on things out of your control- genetics and where you were born and family etc etc. but beyond that- your life is what you make it. That’s why so much about “living” can’t be taught. I can tell you everything I did in life to get where I am- but times have changed and you aren’t me. You probably would get very different results. I saw opportunities that presented themselves where and when I was- took some- missed or passed on others. But even if you could replicate the steps of my life to get my life... do you even want MY life?
You may not. You might have different ideas about the experiences you want to have and the way you want to be as a person or be seen by people. You’ll have different opportunities and challenges to navigate- and some of it is always a gamble.
Bill Murray- 20th birthday. He’s studying at a university on his way to being Dr. Murray. He’s coming home with lbs of weed in his bags. He makes it through security free and clear. He makes a joke to another passenger about having a bomb in his bag. Employees hear. He is arrested when they search his bags and find the weed. He gets off light but has to leave school.
He goes and joins the now legendary second city comedy troop and well... he was good. Obviously. He moves to NYC and John Belushi grabs him for national lampoons radio. He does an off broadway lampoon show and gets on SNL. That required he be there at that time and also that Chevy Chase has left the cast and they needed a new player- and bill had the background and was somewhat known. He made meatballs, Caddy Shack, Stripes- He made friends and connections- including Harold Ramis who was instrumental in Some of Murray’s big hits like Ghost Busters 1/2 and Ground Hogs day.
That was the path Bill Murray took- go to college, get busted for drugs and have to drop out- take work at an improv, become a radio host, get connected in comedy, make films that many would call risky or not see potential in- become a legend for it. How do you teach that?
And yes- before you say “but most people don’t want to be famous just get a job...” it’s a parable of a known individual. It doesn’t answer how to get that first job going- but that’s the point. College and being a Dr. seem like a good path for a first job- and if it wasn’t for a change of career we maybe would t have gotten a beloved comedy icon responsible for lauded pop culture and cinema.
If you gave Bill Murray a road map to life and he followed it- no Bill Murray. So school can teach you to be a good little drone who can fit right in to a place where you can serve society. Is that what you want? If you want to have life on your terms to any degree- you have to figure shit out. How you solve problems, make choices- that determines what you can get out of life and what you have to offer. Go see a recruiter. Don’t worry about taxes or job applications. You won’t be a good soldier if you can’t figure shit out without being told- but there are jobs that just need A warm body and that could be you.
Life can be hard. We wouldn’t find people exceptional for seeming to make it easy if that wasn’t something not everyone can do would we? But seriously here.... if you can’t figure out how to get a job..... any job..... you probably still have some growing to do before you’re ready for a job no? I don’t want a bus driver or a surgeon who can’t figure out how to apply for a job. If you REALLY put your head to it you will figure out a way. I believe in you. And for those scared- life will continue to be scary until you die. The price of failure and the price of not trying are just about even- so ease your mind knowing that you’re better off to try and fail than to be paralyzed by fear. Use google.
1. Go to google.
2. Type in “<my city/county/state or agency (dmv, post office etc)> government jobs”
Or
“<company you know of like UPS, DHL, Apple, Google, Oscar Meyer, Nike, etc.> Jobs”
3. Find the result with listings for those jobs.
4. Find a job you think you want or can do.
5. Read it.
6. Follow the instructions they provide and give requested information.
7. Repeat until you get a job.