...I am not a racist and I did nothing wrong. - Business Owner

An apology can be a regret- “I regret that you have to go through this...” “I regret that you had a negative experience...” We can regret a misunderstanding even if it was entirely another persons fault- because it is something we wish hadn’t happened. “I’m not apologizing because I don’t need to...” is in essence saying “If I had it all to do over again- I would want everything to happen the same way.”

I’ve thought people were cutting me in line, have you? I know I’ve accidentally cut people in line without realizing it until someone told me- because I didn’t realize where the line was. Lately- I’ve seen that happen a lot because of the distance people are supposed to stand in a checkout- and I’ve seen people not realize the people 6 feet away from where you’d normally stand- were on line. It happens. You say you’re sorry- sorry there was a misunderstanding, a sign you meant no offense.

So yes- guy A may have jumped to conclusions (to be fair- maybe it was racism. We do not know. We have two stories. Both probably contain some facts- but is either completely true? Which is more “true”? Would the business owner admit they were racist? Maybe. But especially on social media there is incentive for a business owner to fabricate an excise if the original story WAS true. We simply can’t say. We weren’t there. Both sound like things that could happen. If the guy felt the business owner was racist- he might have cleared that up while there.

“Excuse me- but we were in line...” or “excuse me, I thought we were next?” Something like that. You don’t have to say “are you doing this because you’re racist?” So he could have gotten more to the story yeah. If you notice though- the business owner mentions quite a few details- but never mentions that there is a sign or anything directing customers to order at the counter- and this CAN be confusing. I’ve been places where you couldn’t tell where to order- and sometimes people get upset of you go straight to the counter. There’s a whole thing from way back when on social engineering and the use of signs like “please wait to be seated” etc. so as a business owner- there may have been steps this person could have taken to alleviate that.

Tl:dr and conclusion- as a mature adult- one must understand that relationships and long term outcomes are more important than proving yourself right. Of course if you are falsely accused of something- especially as a business on a public forum- you should set the record straight- but there is a tactful way to do that, to clear your name, and also not make anyone else look bad; and then there is coming out swinging and trying to paint the other person badly. The later not only does bring up questions of how good your customer service really is- but it also is a classic technique of the guilty- which even f you’re innocent can make you seek guilty of something.

Anyone can take a bad situation and make it worse. That doesn’t take any skill or thought at all. Being able to turn a negative into a positive takes skill, maturity, and it shows you actually care about the matter and aren’t just trying to sweep away problems. That momentary righteous feeling of putting someone on blast can feel good- but it’s usually a poor long term strategy and rarely builds constructive relationships.