If you're thinking about getting a baby, try adopt a cockatoo first.
They're expensive, shit whenever and wherever they want (can be trained with time and effort) scream for no fucking reason, will bite you outta the blue, want attention all the time and will get jealous if they give attention to something else instead of them, smart but is a little shit.
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Basically, if you can handle a cockatoo, you can handle a child for about 70%.
Okay, but the problem with this is: give it a few years and the kid eventually Grows up and starts being able to behave and go to school.
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The cockatoo will remain a toddler for it's entire life - which can exceed 14 years.
They will also:
- destroy literally everything you give them
-get lonely easily
-don't nap anywhere near as much as a human child
-require specialized diets
-aren't allowed in many apartment buildings
-may be eaten by your cat
-can fly
.
And, of course, can become sexually frustrated, and can even become sexually attracted to their owners if pet the wrong way.
.
Not to mention neglect and separation are very traumatizing for cockatoos, so if you don't intend to see it all the way through, you're setting the bird up to suffer for an experiment.
.
.
All that said, the good news is if you DO decide to try out a cockatoo first, chances are by the time it's dead you'll be too old to want a kid anyway. So, really, it's a win-win
If you are getting your kids sexually attracted to you then I sincerely hope the FBI knows your location
.
Also: if your kids don't nap as much as a HUMAN child, I have some concerns
They're expensive, shit whenever and wherever they want (can be trained with time and effort) scream for no fucking reason, will bite you outta the blue, want attention all the time and will get jealous if they give attention to something else instead of them, smart but is a little shit.
.
Basically, if you can handle a cockatoo, you can handle a child for about 70%.
.
The cockatoo will remain a toddler for it's entire life - which can exceed 14 years.
They will also:
- destroy literally everything you give them
-get lonely easily
-don't nap anywhere near as much as a human child
-require specialized diets
-aren't allowed in many apartment buildings
-may be eaten by your cat
-can fly
.
And, of course, can become sexually frustrated, and can even become sexually attracted to their owners if pet the wrong way.
.
Not to mention neglect and separation are very traumatizing for cockatoos, so if you don't intend to see it all the way through, you're setting the bird up to suffer for an experiment.
.
.
All that said, the good news is if you DO decide to try out a cockatoo first, chances are by the time it's dead you'll be too old to want a kid anyway. So, really, it's a win-win
.
Also: if your kids don't nap as much as a HUMAN child, I have some concerns
Some kids stay awake and act like demon.