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There is also the matter of perspective- as a society both on a social level and on a legal level, age often brings large shifts in responsibility, privilege, expectation, and so forth. So there are inherent differences in your experiences as well as your ability to have different experiences and make choices at ages where these thresholds are crossed. 17-18 in most of the US is a huge example- where one day you are a precious child who needs protections and the very next day you’re an adult who can be in debt or go make pornography if you like. So someone who’s on the other side of one of these shifts, and/or has had some time to get used to it, may have a different perspective.

Of course it’s all relative. Outside of the development of mind and body before they are fully formed- really it’s about experience. A person can do a lifetime of living or suffer a lifetime of hardship in a day, a year, 20 years; and a person can live to be 100 and barely experience life at all. It’s relative. Age is a possible indicator of how much and what exactly you’ve likely been able to experience, but it isn’t the final arbitrator.

That still doesn’t mean a person who’s brain isn’t fully formed yet is in a state where they wouldn’t likely experience larger shifts in shorter time however for the same relative experience. There is another important factor as well- as we age, it is a documented phenomenon as well as causally observable, our perception of time changes. It tends to speed up- where summer vacations or trips to the park used to seem to stretch forever- entire years fly by as you get older. Many theories exist on why, from using physics or neurology or psychology or cognition- most seem to somewhat agree on a couple factors. The brains processing tends to slow down as we age- so we take less in for the same amount of time- as many anecdotally May notice, older people can often be even just slightly slower to respond or to think or react. And the brain loses plasticity as it ages which makes it harder to form new pathways. Learning tends to slow as we age as well, as does memory-

So as a younger person- a 19 year old and a 20 year old- that year is the same length to them both measured by chronometer or on a calendar as it is for a 35,75 year old. But that year is likely to be much longer for them from their perception than the same year for an older person. So a 20 year old looking at a 19 year old thinks back to how long that year was and all the growth they’ve done- but a 51 year old looking at a 50 year old- chances are that year for them was just... routine and a blur punctuated by some ups and downs.

I mean, if you think about it this way- it’s somewhat uncommon for children to play with those in a lower grade. Uncommon for them to be close friends, uncommon for them to be tested on the same tests or partnered on assignments- but it is very common for people in their 30’s, 50’s and so on to be friends or work with those outside their age by several or more years.

Now we touched on another factor here- change. Not mental or physical this time. In life. Iffy is going “well” by the general average status quo- your average younger person is going through all kinds of changes. New things are happening every day and drastic shifts occur. An older person- most 50 year olds, major changes in daily life are often a bad thing. These people tend to have established routines and schedules and behaviors for happiness and success. You go to work and do your job as you would any other day. You spend time with smoky and friends and pets, do your chores and what you need to do to maintain and advance your life and career. But there is often by nature much less room for spontaneity. Less room or inclination to wild risk, and less extremes in what risk or change looks like. Less drastic movement and more measured.

In grade school every year, every quarter can bring new things. Desks rearranged, new curriculum, new students and teachers and classrooms and rules and many little life experiences. Going to middle or highschool often brings even wilder change. Kids from other schools besides your own become common. All new styles and faces and the new things they bring from where they come from. Often the format of how school works is different- you may suddenly have multiple teachers where you only had one before. You may be able to choose classes, more activities. Lunch may go from set items to a menu, you may be allowed off campus. The rules change, so much change.

Now going to college to highschool for many people is a HUGE change. You are the decider if everything, the manager of your time. Your school may not even offer lunches. You may be in school for dinner time. You are now meeting people from all over the country and world, from all backgrounds, of many ages. Your teachers and the classes and everything- and of course the experiences are far different for each as well.

Compare that to an average older person. If they have a good stable career in most industries, their aren’t changing jobs or offices or coworkers very often if at all. They are already out in the world. Each year doesn’t really bring new faces or types of people so much. The rules tend to be the rules, and you’ve seen enough that minor changes aren’t new to you. Style tends with most people to become much more rigid- ever notice how most older people tend to wear clothes like the style of their formative years, or quite literally still dress and style themselves to a period now gone?

So life tends to become much more stable and level. Less highs and lows, and highs and lows tend to be what we remember most. So to two young people separated by a short span of years, many factors can conspire to make those years seem much longer, or at least make them seem like so much has happened and they have changed so much in that time, and looking back at a person even slightly younger can make them wax nostalgic, as silly as that may seem.

That said, and lastly- it does seem silly. It’s only a year. But- younger people don’t have a whole lot of years to draw on. The utmost oldest memory most people can recall is about 3 years old- and in studies a good deal of the time that memory is fake or imagined. As far as how far back we can conjure vividly and consciously in memory for the average person- it’s not that far. So a 20 year old doesn’t actually have 20 years of experience in life. They have more like 7-10 if we add all the factors and put all out disclaimers in. Looking at it that way- where at 20 a year is 10% it more of your “useable experience” versus at 40 where it would be more like 3% or so.... that’s a huge difference. If you don’t think 10% is a lot- then send me 10% of everything you make or try and launch a rocket into orbit that is 10% overloaded. Imagine if turning on the light had a 10% chance to electrocute you. It’s sizable.

Of course- some of it can often be ego and perception. We tend to all want to be “cool” and our aspirations tend to have us wanting to emulate a self image that we are attracted to. So the “older, wiser, seasoned” etc etc persona is attractive. But when you’re 20... who are you going to go play “veteran” with, a pre schooler? That might not be satisfying to the ego for either of you, and to find someone young enough to hold your age and experience over you may just end up getting arrested because that’s an odd look and hard to explain. Plus... ego. We want to see ourselves as bigger than we are most of the time.

16,19,20... most people don’t like being called “kid” even if they relatively speaking are. They want to be seen as adults. They perceive themselves as intelligent, wise, capable. “I don’t need you to do this, I’m an adult!” It’s a sense of agency, and it undermines that for many people to admit that they haven’t reached anywhere near their full potential yet, although being young doesn’t mean you can’t be exceptionally smart or capable or more so than the adults around you. But it does mean the odds of you being fully able to function at an adult level in an adult environment are lower.

But it isn’t just an age thing- whatever age you are many people have trouble admitting they are new to a thing. Few people like being called “rookie” or “greenie” or so on. Someone asks if you’ve done something or know something and many say something like: “once or twice but I’m not very good...” or “it’s been years, I’ve forgotten...” when it just isn’t true. But they don’t want to be seen as not knowing a thing- this even happens- is quite common- in environments where the whole point is to take people who are new and teach them. Even in most every “beginners” class you’ll meet at least someone who “is just there because...” or “I’m here to support my buddy...” or whatever.

So basically- a fairly universal facet that can be applied to almost all 20 odd year olds that do this to people a year or so younger- is that they have no one else to do it to. It’s hard to play wise old sage with people older than you, and it’s a bit odd and likely would make a person feel worse about themselves than better on their self image to go pal around with people who are still not allowed to cross the street without a crossing guard present at the school.