What did you do today?

Wait. I don't have a cat...

Me: Today I ate a whole pizza

Me: Today I refilled the ice cube tray with water and it only spilled once

Nice

Me: Today slept till 1 then ate cereal

Haha lol. 666 likes

I still can't even achieve that..

Me: I only hit the snooze button once

Me: I'll have you know I hit my stomach of the corner of a table and only threatened to kill someone 10 times

Me: i killed 30 people today