Satire is necessary

"I DON'T WANT TO BE PART OF AN EXPERIMENT!" Fine, you're totally NOT the control group...*snicker*.

I-I mean... yes?

Knowing that it's The Onion and what that means and moving onto the you really expect me to believe that man has 45000 friends? I thought their whole schtick was that it's generally a somewhat believable story even if absurd and completely made up.