Maybe I'm too old

I... Uh... I don't get it

i got it and i feel old.

I'm banned from one McDonald's playground. A friend and I were going down the slide when an employee came out to tell us that a customer had complained. They pointed at a man in a business suit and my friend and I said "That guy doesn't have any kids on the playground, the playground is empty, so why is he complaining?".

At a Christmas party the host passed out old packs of pretzels. Upon eating a few I said loudly, these pretzels are making me thirsty!
No reaction..