I agree with the sentiment in general- but I will just say that while not having 10 year old broken wrist band manties with stains or holes and rips goes a long way- there isn’t a whole lot further it is practical to go. Like- the concept of “sexy panties” for men is… it’s barely a thing and rather subjective. Like- maybe satin or silk boxers, or perhaps some might find boxer briefs more sexy or such- but generally speaking while there are exceptions- my research and experience suggests that most women often don’t find a wide divergence from the normal styles of under garments sexy on men. Thongs, “mankini”, “banana hammocks”, lacey or ornate or revealing styles and cuts, straps and leather, studs and chains…. Often these styles can be seen as more repellent or humorous than appealing or arousing. So while there are exceptions in every case we can say that IN GENERAL, most women whom a given man would find sexy can wear almost any style of “sexy” underwear from lace to sheer, silk…
.. cotton, nylon, vinyl, high cut, low cut etc etc. and generally speaking- it may not be a given man’s ideal preference but is likely to elicit the desired impact or at the least is highly unlikely to repel most men or have them break out laughing. Now conversely, we can say that when selecting “sexy underwear,” a man has a much higher chance of either repelling a partner or being laughed at. When and if such garb is appreciated it tends to be extremely specific. That is to say- a specific woman might like leather and studs or make thongs but the divide between like and hate or find ridiculous is much narrower. What is interesting is that a common word on empowerment is to select lingerie that makes a woman sexy and not to select it exclusively for their partners tastes. How much if at Al a woman takes this advice or wether she chooses to wear “sexy panties” at all is a personal choice. That said- the prevailing social attitudes would not look kindly upon a man whom…
.. mocked or belittled a woman for expressing her sexuality or self image in her choice of undergarments let alone a man whom rejected sexual congress with a woman choosing to wear the undergarments of her selection on the grounds they weren’t to his taste. “Uhg. She always wears granny panties. Why can’t she wear a thong?” Well- that man is likely in for some verbal or mental demerits surely, as what right it is to him to dictate his partners undergarments or be so finicky and superficial as to reject her emotionally and sexually for not conforming to his ideal? So there are some complexities to the idea of “sexy panties” for men- but I don’t want anyone to think I’m here to preach “mens rights.” That’s not my point. My point is simply in recognizing the general and wide spread issues of gender perception and identity.
What I mean to say is this- it is generally true in a wide range of things from the careers we find “sexy” to the behaviors and patterns of speech and the sound of voices and hair cuts and overall clothing styles and aesthetics that for most people, especially cis gendered heterosexual people, which we find “sexy” differ between men and women and tend to be rooted at least in part to traditional ideas of masculinity and femininity. At the very least is it generally true that male and female anatomy and the overall and subtle shapes and such that distinguish a “man” and “woman” so that we can often tell by sight without knowledge of genitals or genetics if a person is a given sex have certain distinctions and differences. Or at least the sort of “idealized” templates of the sexes.
So what does “sexy underpants” for men look like? The same that a sexy outfit for a man or woman is often different, it is a bit simplistic to think a man could just wear the same styles of lingerie as…
.. a woman… or.. is it..? I guess it depends on where we want to draw gender lines. This one gets interesting and complicated but- a long held theory is the concept that women can wear “men’s clothes” like pants and “men’s shirt” cuts and such and look ok or good while men generally aren’t able to wear “women’s” styles and clothes like dresses or babydoll tees and such because as a society we consider men superior at some level. Thusly a women is elevating herself to wear men’s fashion while a man demand himself and thusly becomes a joke (feminized men or men wearing women’s clothing is a long and still standing low hanging gag…) So when I said I wasn’t pointing this stuff out to be a neck beard I meant it. The fact is that these gender inequities aren’t something that we can paint men as the exclusive victims of- especially when men largely created the situation. The issue here is how to best tackle sexy men’s underpants in a way that respects the issues.
If we simply have sexy male panties mimic or copy sexy women’s panties we aren’t necessarily respecting women and their preferences, but we can argue that it is far more inclusive to dissolve the boundaries of gender specific styles than it is to create yet another arena where gender expression become conflated to personal style and what is “accepted.”
Of course we can create a new concept of sexy male panties. This as stated feeds a binary gender or gender divided system where your “acceptable” or “expected” forms of expression are limited to what has been codified as appropriate to your perceived or assigned social identity. This is not very inclusive and now we are potentially harming more than “men and women” where other identities exist or those exist on a fluid spectrum. The upside there is that this new style of sexy male panties can evolve in a manner that is guided by the compromises between women selecting what on the whole they find most appealing and…
… the styles that men feel most sexy or comfortable in. One other advantage of this system is that a legacy inequity which has led us to a point where women’s underpants are sexy science and men’s sexy panties are lacking diversity and often novelty or fetish and lifestyle specific is…
Traditionally society has both refused women the right to openly express sexual desire and opinion or autonomy as well as not listens when they did so subtly or overtly. The development of a new sexy men’s panty culture could provide one Avenue by which women could explore and communicate their sexual desires and preferences and by which men could engage with women in such ways while experiencing some empathy and gaining skills in catering to the sexual desires of partners. A classic sexist punchline revolves around women not knowing what they want or being indecisive. While I am not saying that is true- what I will say tongue in cheek but also with some sincerity to my point is that many women alive…
.. today we’re not born with the freedoms of choice or rights to choose which they gained later, and many women alive today still lack either legal or social freedom to truly make certain choices. In other words, how are you supposed to express what you want when no one ever asked or cared, or you were even penalized or conditioned to do otherwise? In the arena of sex, women still are sexually confined even in most liberal societies with expectations and labels and such in ways men are not. For many women their sex lives have existed more internally than externally. Much has changed in only a few generations but stigmas and social repurchasing are still strong. So sexy men’s panties haven’t really been a thing so on the whole are more of a cultural oddity in many or most cultures.
As an example- the internet likes to joke and wonder about the “off panty fetish” in Japan. Largely, western style panties weren’t introduced to most of Japan until the post WW2 period. Traditional Japanese lifestyle and clothing and garments and undergarments were different in ways that “western style” undergarments weren’t so much a thing or even particularly practical.
Due to certain realities of post war occupation and the state of a defeated nation, prostitution, especially to American and foreign soldiers, became a thing. Prostitutes tend to be cultural ambassadors of sorts- often being quick studies on foreign languages and cultures and preferences and such. It’s part of the business. Being able to communicate with and attract and entertain clients is a big part of making money. So the prostitutes of the time took to learning customs and language and working to cater to their most lucrative clients- mostly American soldiers. As such and partially due to American relief….
.. efforts intrinsically supplying American and western goods and culture and such to the country and thusly western style clothing being one of the many relief items that was common- many prostitutes started wearing “western” clothing and styling themselves in more “western inspired” ways to be more appealing and familiar to western johns. This often included western underpants- because if you’ve never put on or removed traditional Japanese clothing and undergarments, it’s a bit more complex than sliding off some briefs. So it made things easy and familiar for foreign johns and western and American influences became rather trendy anyway post war. So panties somewhat became associated with prostitution and thusly with sex as- I won’t go into a whole thing on Japanese culture over time but panties and a lot of attitudes and such were less traditionally common things in Japan. The best way I might put it in more western terms is that a nude photo can be innocent, artistic, but….
.. adding knee high leather boots or a garter belt tends to sexualize an image. Orrr…. You know most people are wearing underwear or going commando, but seeing a tiny peek of a g string or thong or waist band can be either more arousing or humorous (depending on context) than simply seeing a hint of exposed lower back. A hint of lower back is general perceived as less erotic than a hint of undergarment- the clothing somehow makes things more sexual than a nude lower back… it’s a whole thing. Look it up if you doubt, and nothing is universally true (I am aware that statement is a bit of a logical paradox. Bear with me.)
So anyway- panties became sexy in Japan but of course not everyone found them sexy. Cultural inertia. How individuals and thusly society as a collection of individuals deals with or perceives a thing is what forms a meaning. It can take time for the new and novel to be accepted.
But to our earlier talk and this subject of how there isn’t much culture or concept of sexy panties for men- or a very narrow idea of that in many places- here’s where we blow that away and I free the neck beard hanging over those statements. There is a simple answer- men.. save the sexy panties for the one they fit. Meaning- while in the modern day you have no idea how any random woman will respond to your attempt at sexy panties- if you have a woman you care about- why not try to put the effort into finding out what THEY consider sexy panties and then, as you feel like or for “special occasions” show that extra effort you might like when it if you saw it in putting forth your sexy panties?
Because yes- as a culture it is a longer and more difficult process to create and define these things and yes, as a culture we have to get into things like the ramifications and politics of these things, but as individuals we can simply engage on individual levels and communicate directly and indirectly to explore these things. The fact that we enjoy sexy outfits or sexy panties or sexy hair cuts and such- well… may it occur to us that our partners may enjoy that too? So while there is some degree of forgiveness to a man who has never thought about putting effort into sexy panties for his partner when he appreciates them in return because we do not largely have a culture that tells us that is something to consider- that still leaves the fact that on principle that one enjoys something so another might as well- the issue warrants exploration.
Herein lies a caveat- your partner may not like sexy panties at all and simply wants you to wear non tattered, non soiled “men’s underpants.” This is a case of intersectionality between cultural templates of identity and personal preference. Culture shapes us and we shape culture so the individual is always an individual but their perceptions are usually to easy to some degree shaped by their cultural background. That is to say that many or even a majority of women DO have certain expectations relating to traditional social ideas of gender roles. There are still many who would not date or would be “turned off” by a male partner who expressed any degree of sexuality that could be perceived as fluid or “homosexual,” certain aspects of “traditional masculinity” are still widely and highly valued or linked directly to perceptions of suitability and sexual attraction even in some of the most socially liberal. Most people are not truly and completely ready in their personal lives to give…
.. up any concept of gender. This isn’t an indictment. The entire concept of sexuality largely goes out the window in a world where people honestly and truly have no boundaries on gender or identity. In a sense such a world is largely divided into pan sexuality or asexuality at the extreme- or at the least we essentially reduce people to sets of traits we find attractive. I am not here to discuss this in depth or to say that is good or bad. It is merely the case I want to clarify that I am not judging people because they have some sort of criteria or lines by which they determine a person meets their criteria for being sexually attractive, but also to illustrate that gender identity and concepts are much more rooted in these things or tied up than many want to admit; and that many who would like to say otherwise may be more influenced by such things than they’d like to admit.
So back the the caveat- your partner may not WANT you to wear sexy panties or appreciate it or may even find it repugnant or repellant. I suppose the same is true with men in general as there are men who do not like “sexy panties” though my best guess would tell me the ratio is skewed and to the subject of gender identity in culture, sexy panties tend to be much more linked and accepted or encouraged in women so…
Anyway- the overarching point there is a knowledge and respect of one’s partner. Putting asides the broad generalities and cultural norms and such, each person is an individual and each is unique in their sexual identity and expression. I said earlier that one might THINK if they appreciate sexy panties their partner might- well.. THINK is the key word. Not ASSUME.
The golden rule is one which is often mocked but specific to our sexual discussion- just because you like to be anally penetrated doesn’t mean your partner will. Just because you like to be choked or slapped or clamped doesn’t mean your partner will. Just because you like sexy panties doesn’t mean your partner will. These things are social contracts and social negotiations. We can’t assume things have the same value to all parties. We need to negotiate value to understand where our partners values lie and find where we can form social contracts where everyone is satisfied. So here is a real world example that runs counter to this meme- when I was young I knew a woman, a beautiful younger woman who was quite popular and quite polished and posh looking. What was the thing she found sexy?
She liked men that were “manly” in build- taller and bigger than her, muscles were nice but she didn’t care as much as the overall aesthetic. She liked rough necks. They had to look a little dangerous, be a little unkempt. Stubble, messy hair. She liked them in work clothes like jump suits or chino coveralls, filthy. Covered in dirt and and sweat and grease or soot. And she was very specific in that she liked beat up worn in dirty- to the point of muddy or greasy- work boots with the laces loose. She is not the only woman I met with similar tastes and in youth it surprised me how many of these women were often posh and wealthy. And yes. The particular woman I reference above told me this in her words- not something I gained from observation. And yes- the final piece of her fantasy included dirt under the nails and tattered grease stained man panties. So it is a great big world out there and you should probably try to find a partner who likes your style or maybe try to make some small..
.. concessions out of care for your partner… but all this said in general your best odds of romantic success and showing basic respect as well as showing self respect are to generally wear clean underpants that aren’t all tattered up and actually fit.
So what does “sexy underpants” for men look like? The same that a sexy outfit for a man or woman is often different, it is a bit simplistic to think a man could just wear the same styles of lingerie as…
Of course we can create a new concept of sexy male panties. This as stated feeds a binary gender or gender divided system where your “acceptable” or “expected” forms of expression are limited to what has been codified as appropriate to your perceived or assigned social identity. This is not very inclusive and now we are potentially harming more than “men and women” where other identities exist or those exist on a fluid spectrum. The upside there is that this new style of sexy male panties can evolve in a manner that is guided by the compromises between women selecting what on the whole they find most appealing and…
Traditionally society has both refused women the right to openly express sexual desire and opinion or autonomy as well as not listens when they did so subtly or overtly. The development of a new sexy men’s panty culture could provide one Avenue by which women could explore and communicate their sexual desires and preferences and by which men could engage with women in such ways while experiencing some empathy and gaining skills in catering to the sexual desires of partners. A classic sexist punchline revolves around women not knowing what they want or being indecisive. While I am not saying that is true- what I will say tongue in cheek but also with some sincerity to my point is that many women alive…
Due to certain realities of post war occupation and the state of a defeated nation, prostitution, especially to American and foreign soldiers, became a thing. Prostitutes tend to be cultural ambassadors of sorts- often being quick studies on foreign languages and cultures and preferences and such. It’s part of the business. Being able to communicate with and attract and entertain clients is a big part of making money. So the prostitutes of the time took to learning customs and language and working to cater to their most lucrative clients- mostly American soldiers. As such and partially due to American relief….
So anyway- panties became sexy in Japan but of course not everyone found them sexy. Cultural inertia. How individuals and thusly society as a collection of individuals deals with or perceives a thing is what forms a meaning. It can take time for the new and novel to be accepted.
Anyway- the overarching point there is a knowledge and respect of one’s partner. Putting asides the broad generalities and cultural norms and such, each person is an individual and each is unique in their sexual identity and expression. I said earlier that one might THINK if they appreciate sexy panties their partner might- well.. THINK is the key word. Not ASSUME.